Things we do---4

"burning a hole in the rug with your pacing" Dan said as he lounged in one of their couches. Viji actually looked at the track she had made on the carpet before she realized it was another one of american phrases. Dan must have caught it for he laughed at her again.

"I cant believe how naive you are beautiful" he said "lucky for you i am here to guide you through the american jungle"

Viji made a face at him "lucky..tell that to my ear drum" this only made Dan laugh more "my i do believe you are getting americanized".

"Dan..i am worried my dad has not answered his phone and no one is picking up the phone in my relatives place" Viji said frown creasing her forehead.

"i am sure he is fine viji, may be the old man has found himself a new girlfriend.." Dan regretted saying it the moment it left his mouth "Damn me and my mouth" he thought. "i am sorry Viji..i did not mean that" Viji turned away from him biting her lips. Dan recognized it as a sign that she was angry with him and he tried to mollify her. In many ways this cute girl from seven seas away was a mystery to him. Sometimes she was downright sweet when she insisted that he eat at her place whenever he came to drop her home and how sometimes when playfully put his hands around her shoulder in public she will push him away...he realized that he loved this girl but was not sure where he stood with her.

"hey i am sorry..you know me" Dan said shrugging his shoulders.

"i am just worried" Viji responded it is not like my dad "we talk to each other every day"

Dan found it very interesting that Viji enjoyed talking to her Dad. He usually tried to avoid talking to his old man whenever possible and it seemed to be mutual to him.

At this precise moment the phone rang and Viji literally trampled him to get to the contraception.
"appa.." she gushed and Dan could feel relief followed by anger in that one syllable, he had hung around a bit realize that in her language that was how one addressed her dad. He watched her with quiet smile on his face as her face transformed and a brilliant smile lit her face. "it would not too bad to spend rest of his life with her..." he thought

****************************************************************************************
Viji woke up with a start and found herself curled on the couch, she must have dozed off, the clock chimed 2 am and she woke up to check on the baby. He slept peacefully in another hour she had to wake him up to feed him again. Usually Ravi took care of the mid night feeding, even without asking her. She had heard some of the new mother's complain that their husbands never helped much with the babies but Ravi had helped as much as he can, whenever he can. A deep sense of loss filled her and tears spilled from her eyes. Things will never be the same again..she knew that in her bones.

****************************************************************************************
"do you like it" Dan asked with an expectant look in his eyes as Viji cautiously tasted the chocolate. A huge smile came over her face as she said "..SHooo goood" she answered with her mouthful and then blushed.

Dan had taken her to the Lindt shop in the strip mall telling her that he will take her to heaven on earth. "good now i know you have taste for alcohol" he said and Viji nearly spat out the chocolate and Dan laughed.

"No it does not.." she answered indignantly and finally Dan acceeded.

As they started walking across the mall Viji started looking about herself at the shops lined with variety of shoes and clothes. "it does not compare to T.nagar" she told herself. They came to stop in front of water fountain with the kids playing about. Viji smiled at the picture as she bit in another piece of lindt truffles.

"Vij.." Dan asked something in his tone made her look up "Do you like me??"

"No" she retorted but somehow he did not break out in to a smile. "I am serious.." he responded simply and his blue eyes seemed to get bigger as if they wanted to see more learn more. "i do like you Dan ...you know that"

"why??" he asked

"huh...because i dont know..you are nice and you do nice things for me and you took care of me when i first got here and you are my best friend ..you make me laugh" she answered not sure what else she needs to say. In pit of her stomach butterflies started to crawl.

"I love you...more than a friend" he said seriously " can we be more than friends"

Viji stared at him wide eyed, not sure what to say "you dont have to answer right now, think about it and let me know friday night when we go out for dinner"

She nodded dumbly and soon they headed back to his car in silence, as they walked towards the lot Dan took her hand hesitantly in his but Viji did not protest. Inspite of the inner turmoil filling her it seemed to be the right thing to do. Their hands fit perfectly together.

Things we do---3

"Hello beautiful" some one said right behind her and Viji almost jumped out of her skin. She turned around to see a tall man with red hair and big smile.
"Excuse me" Viji said hesistantly "are you talking to me??"
"Ofcourse i am..i dont go around calling dude's beautiful" he said and on second glance she realized that the guy was probably not much older than her, just plain rude.
"I am Dan and i am your student advisor" he said when Viji continued to stare at him "i am here to help you get familarized with the department"
"i am sorry..but i was not told about it" Viji finally managed to break her stupor, for never in her life has she been addressed like this, not even by the rogues who harass girls in madras.
"well..duh that is why i am here to introduce myself" Dan said with a bright smile, his blue eyes were twinkling with mischief.
"oh...ok" Viji said quietly, she had landed in US two days back and since then it has been one confusion after another and with each passing moment she felt herself becoming very home sick. She just stood silently waiting for Dan to say something, something must have shown in her face for his smile faltered.
"well....how do you pronounce your name???" he asked
"Vijayalakshmi" she responded.
"Vijaayelesmi.." he returned and inspite of herself Viji smiled.
"No..well all my friends call me Viji" she said
"well that is much easier " Dan said and then spreading him arm about he said expansively "this is the place you are going to be enslaved if you are lucky for only five years..and you if you are a smart fella like me..an even ten" he laughed at his own joke and Viji smiled hesitantly at that.

"five years..i cant do it" she thought and all the tears she had been trying to control suddenly spilled out.
"huh...are you ok" Dan asked looking at her all mirth lost.
"yeah ..i am fine" She said and then sobbed. She missed home and her dad and in this strange new place there was no one to comfort and no place that she could feel safe in.
"ahem..i am sorry, gosh did not mean to make you cry" Dan said " me and my jokes, my ma always said that i have my dad's weird sense of humour but i never have made any one cry this much"
"its not you.." Viji managed "it is just so difficult"
"well it is a difficult transisition" Dan agreed "well i can show you around the department later, how about a cup of joe"
"huh???" Viji asked wiping her tears
"coffee i mean" Dan corrected.
"okie" Viji agreed, suddenly this cooky american did not seem all that bad or rude to her. "well he was the first one to ask me if i was ok " she thought and it made her feel cold.
"i promise you..the coffee will definitely perk you up.." Dan said with a smile as he led her out of the department "now beautiful tell me a bit about yourself..so i could guide you better.."

************************************************************************************
The cuckoo clock chimed in the midnight hour breaking Viji out of her reverie, a small smile still curved her lips as she thought about how long she had talked to Dan that day, but she returned home light hearted and more importantly hopeful. Dan always made her feel that way, he made her laugh and hopeful.
She looked at the cordless once again and no call from Sekar yet..."i wish you would call me" she whispered, willing the phone to ring but it did not.

Continued...

Things we do..-2

Viji set about doing everything that was essential to get in to school, her father was very encouraging but the rest of her family was not which did not surprise her. Her grandmother came over almost every evening to talk to her father about sending unmarried girl off to a foreign country "nataraja..what are you thinking, we can understand that she is motherless child but you cant give in to her every whim and fancy" her grandmother almost ended every evening with that statement.



"well it is one of the hazards of having relatives living a street away from you " Viji once vented to her friend Vinaya. "don't worry about them" Vinaya responded "concentrate on getting the entrance cleared and other essential things that need to be completed"



Viji focused all her energy for now going to a foreign school became more of an obsession. Months ran fast and she got a call back from the one of the top universities in US. Viji was ecstatic and she ran to Vinaya's house to see if her friend will be joining her there.



"No Viji..i got a rejection from them three days back" Vinaya responded despondently " and i have not heard from any other school either"



"and good thing too" Vinaya's mom said as she walked in to the room with snacks "my little darling is not going so far away from me". Viji's joy was dimished but she still had her hopes up that Jayanthi might still be going to US with her. She quickly excused herself and headed back home. Once there she quickly called Jayanthi who answered the phone gleefully. Not only had she gotten in to the same university as Viji but also from MIT.

"so which one are you going to choose" Viji asked anxiously.

"UPitt ofcourse, after all we three did plan to go to school together" Jayanthi replied which put a smile on viji' face.

"i dont think Vinaya will be joining us" Viji said and explained what had happened in her place.

"yeah her mom was not really encouraging about that" Jayanthi replied "so i am not that shocked"

"yeah atleast two of us will be together "Viji said once again on cloud nine.

Few weeks passed with Viji filing all necessary paper work for Visa and also battling with her grandmother, uncles and aunts who had now started hassling her along with her father.
"i wish you will not open the door" Viji complained one evening
"kanna (dear)" her appa said " if you are very sure about something you should be able to defend your ideas in face of any opposition. You are going abroad to increase your knowledge right, so tell them that and shut out the negative energy"

"i am heading to bank" Her father said one day "to arrange for some loan".
"why do we need a Loan appa" Viji asked truly perplexed, for she knew they were not very rich like Jayanthi's family but still they are well off. Her father explained the expenditure involved in the process to her and for the first time she understood how finance ruled most decisions especially for a middle class family like hers. She resolved to be better and do everything well.

Weeks flew by and Viji got her Visa, and with two months left for her to fly she decided to get shopping done. Armed with the list of the things obtained from her seniors she headed to T.nagar with Jayanthi.

"you are quiet" Viji observed "what happened?? i actually thought we will go together and apply for Visa but your amma said that you had yours already".

"well ..yeah" Jayanthi replied " Viji i accepted MIT. Its my parents they said i should go to the best school and we have many friends and relatives close to the campus there and it is a top school"

"oh.." Viji said feeling deflated suddenly. "you are not mad at me .." Jayanthi said " well both the schools are in the east coast and we can see each other whenever we want..it is so much easier in US"

"no.." Viji replied half heartedly "yeah.."

"well lets complete the shopping" Jayanthi replied relieved. Shopping was a hazy experience for Viji for she also pictured all three girls heading to US together and having fun like they did in their undergraduate college. "may be i should not go" she thought as she headed home, all her relatives admonishments becoming more real.

As she entered the house she saw her father was talking heatedly to her grandmother " amma i have made up my mind" he said " Viji is a smart girl and has worked hard. I trust her and even if i have to sell this house she is going to study where she wants. I would appreciate if you would stop pestering me about this matter. It is settled and she is going to US to study, and i dont want to hear anything more from you in this regard"

Viji froze for she had never heard her father so angry and she silently slipped in to her room, tears she had been holding back tumbled out of her eyes. She suddenly realized that she would really and truly be alone in a foreign country "but i cant let appa down.." she thought "i am a friendly person i should be able to get along with people. i can do this". With that thought decided she came downstairs to find her appa sitting in the dining table.

"so kanna how was your shopping???" her father asked

"it was great appa" Viji realized "but i have to go again..few more things to collect"

"good" her father said with a big smile "I only want the best for you"

.....to be continued

Things we do...

Viji placed her six month old son rajeev in the crib, the baby was fast asleep. She ran her hand gently over his head and marvelled at his perfect nose and mouth "..just like his dad" she thought fondly. Silently she glided out of the nursery to the living room, the giant clock on the mantle showed it was half past ten at night. Ravi her husband was not back from work yet, she wondered what was keeping him so late.
she picked the cordless phone and dialed his cell phone.."hi you have reached ravi, i am not available please leave a message after the beep.." his deep resonant voice came on. She hung up the phone not wanting to leave another message. "he is still mad...what will be do" she thought and helpless tears spilled from her eyes. Fussing over the baby had calmed her nerves all day but now that rajeev was asleep all her fears and guilt came to forefront. She had hoped to talk to Ravi as soon as he came back from work. She had even prepared his favourite food for dinner.
She glanced at the cold food on the table, Ravi had not even eaten breakfast that morning.
Her shoulders shook silently as tears tumbled out of her eyes.." with my own words i have destroyed my marriage.." she thought.
As tears dried out she thought about the events of past both near and far that had led her to that moment.
*********************************************************************************
"are you sure about this kanna" her father has asked her then, worried but wanting to be supportive of his only daughter. Ever since her mother had passed away when she was child her dad had been her world.
"yes appa" she said her eyes burning bright, imagining all the adventures she will have travelling to a new country. Later she had realized that it was because of all those alluring soaps she had seen on Star TV and vague reports from her friends. "Riya..my senior appa said that the schools there are great especially for engineering and once you graduate the job is almost assured. she said that if i wanted a job in india having a degree from US will increase my worth" her absolute confidence in all Riya had to say was evident, even though she had never talked more than ten words to that girl when she was going to her college in india.
Worried frown increased on her appa's face " Think about it da..it is very far from home and you really will be on your own, cant even come back if you want to"
"appa i am all grown up, gosh i am almost 22 years old and this will be a great chance for me" Viji had insisted "i have lived in hostel all on my own for last four years and i wont be alone all my class mates are also applying. Myself, vinaya and jayanthi have decided to apply to the same schools so i will have friends.."
"ok da Kanna if you are so sure" her appa had said with a smile hiding his worry, he had always had hard time saying no to Viji especially since she had never demanded anything from him and had always been the model student.
With permission from her father Viji involved herself completely in the process with writing all entrance exams and application process.....
to be continued

As the season changes....

It has been eons since i last posted here ..but today i suddenly was inspired to do so. I think my last post was sometime in 2006 and an year has passed since then. I have completed my PhD..defended it successfully last month ( i still cant believe i completed it :D). I wonder what my blog friends have been up to..:D.
Anyways i think i will post more regularly from now on ..(hopefully!!!!!!)
Cheers
jeenu

Tagged by Vi sweetie :D

Im thinking about
1. how iam going to enjoy this month without my boss bothering me ..hehehehe( he is actually out town for the month of august..hurray)
2. Strength of human spirit
3. Beauty of the world around me
4.my dad and mom

I said
1.sambar tastes better with idli than with dosa ..:P


I want
1. Strength to do what is right no matter who opposes me
2. courage to face the truth and accept it
3.Equaminity to accept the things that i cant change

I wish
that i could be happy with simple things..

i Hear
1. Hum of my laptop
2. "give it up to me" sean paul
3.chattering of my lab mate from her desk
4. sonicator that is putting my teeth on edge

I wonder
1.About the delicate balance that is our body and how people abuse it thinking it is invincible
2. the beauty of everything that is around us and how we all miss to enjoy it everyday :)

I regret
Actually i cant think of a single thing now ..:D

Iam
1. Very friendly
2. a chatter box as well as a good listener
3. pretty vindicative when iam mad

I dance
almost every weekend ..well whenever iam happy

i Sing
when iam happy

i Cry
1. only when iam alone can never cry in front of others
2. only when the situation seems hopeless and at the end of the crying bout i somehow feel positive as if i have washed out all the negative feelings off me

i am not
1. naive..i would say never was
2. very patient with people who think too much of themselves
3. judgemental ( atleast try not to be)

i make with my hands ..pretty good Gulab jamuns and lemon rice

i write..whenever i feel and think..:D

i confuse
Living with planing

i need
My family
my cell phone as it connects me to all my friends
Books

Jeenu on her own

Some one at work asked me how i was faring living alone and it got me thinking..so here it goes comparison of my life in US with a room mate and without a room mate

Before:
i have to get up before my room mate does or else i will be stuck waiting for an hour to brush my teeth and get all the morning ablutions done.

Now
i get up whenever i want and walk in to take showe..*sigh* probably the best feeling ever..

Before:
when i come home i usually switch on a TV whether iam watching it or not becos as long as i have to assualt my ear drum with some crap sound i guess i can as well do it with something i like..:D

Now
i sit on the table and have a relaxing cuppa of chai and enjoy the silence when i get back home.

Before :
I have to wait for my turn to cook ( we both kept our cooking seperate) so by the end of the day when i get home ,i have no energy to wash other's dirty dishes. so i rarely cooked

Now:
Trying to be this generation's Lakshmi ammal..:))

Before:
have to make sure that it is ok with your room mate to have party or get together in the house

Now:
"lets get the party started...whenever for whatever"

I think i can keep the list going on and on but in short all iam trying to convey is ..jeenu loves her new apartment and recommends everyone who has never lived on their own to try it..it is such an awesome feeling.

cheers
jeenu