JEENU'S WORLD

Things we do---4

2009-09-07T15:24:00.002-04:00

"burning a hole in the rug with your pacing" Dan said as he lounged in one of their couches. Viji actually looked at the track she had made on the carpet before she realized it was another one of american phrases. Dan must have caught it for he laughed at her again.

"I cant believe how naive you are beautiful" he said "lucky for you i am here to guide you through the american jungle"

Viji made a face at him "lucky..tell that to my ear drum" this only made Dan laugh more "my i do believe you are getting americanized".

"Dan..i am worried my dad has not answered his phone and no one is picking up the phone in my relatives place" Viji said frown creasing her forehead.

"i am sure he is fine viji, may be the old man has found himself a new girlfriend.." Dan regretted saying it the moment it left his mouth "Damn me and my mouth" he thought. "i am sorry Viji..i did not mean that" Viji turned away from him biting her lips. Dan recognized it as a sign that she was angry with him and he tried to mollify her. In many ways this cute girl from seven seas away was a mystery to him. Sometimes she was downright sweet when she insisted that he eat at her place whenever he came to drop her home and how sometimes when playfully put his hands around her shoulder in public she will push him away...he realized that he loved this girl but was not sure where he stood with her.

"hey i am sorry..you know me" Dan said shrugging his shoulders.

"i am just worried" Viji responded it is not like my dad "we talk to each other every day"

Dan found it very interesting that Viji enjoyed talking to her Dad. He usually tried to avoid talking to his old man whenever possible and it seemed to be mutual to him.

At this precise moment the phone rang and Viji literally trampled him to get to the contraception.
"appa.." she gushed and Dan could feel relief followed by anger in that one syllable, he had hung around a bit realize that in her language that was how one addressed her dad. He watched her with quiet smile on his face as her face transformed and a brilliant smile lit her face. "it would not too bad to spend rest of his life with her..." he thought

****************************************************************************************
Viji woke up with a start and found herself curled on the couch, she must have dozed off, the clock chimed 2 am and she woke up to check on the baby. He slept peacefully in another hour she had to wake him up to feed him again. Usually Ravi took care of the mid night feeding, even without asking her. She had heard some of the new mother's complain that their husbands never helped much with the babies but Ravi had helped as much as he can, whenever he can. A deep sense of loss filled her and tears spilled from her eyes. Things will never be the same again..she knew that in her bones.

****************************************************************************************
"do you like it" Dan asked with an expectant look in his eyes as Viji cautiously tasted the chocolate. A huge smile came over her face as she said "..SHooo goood" she answered with her mouthful and then blushed.

Dan had taken her to the Lindt shop in the strip mall telling her that he will take her to heaven on earth. "good now i know you have taste for alcohol" he said and Viji nearly spat out the chocolate and Dan laughed.

"No it does not.." she answered indignantly and finally Dan acceeded.

As they started walking across the mall Viji started looking about herself at the shops lined with variety of shoes and clothes. "it does not compare to T.nagar" she told herself. They came to stop in front of water fountain with the kids playing about. Viji smiled at the picture as she bit in another piece of lindt truffles.

"Vij.." Dan asked something in his tone made her look up "Do you like me??"

"No" she retorted but somehow he did not break out in to a smile. "I am serious.." he responded simply and his blue eyes seemed to get bigger as if they wanted to see more learn more. "i do like you Dan ...you know that"

"why??" he asked

"huh...because i dont know..you are nice and you do nice things for me and you took care of me when i first got here and you are my best friend ..you make me laugh" she answered not sure what else she needs to say. In pit of her stomach butterflies started to crawl.

"I love you...more than a friend" he said seriously " can we be more than friends"

Viji stared at him wide eyed, not sure what to say "you dont have to answer right now, think about it and let me know friday night when we go out for dinner"

She nodded dumbly and soon they headed back to his car in silence, as they walked towards the lot Dan took her hand hesitantly in his but Viji did not protest. Inspite of the inner turmoil filling her it seemed to be the right thing to do. Their hands fit perfectly together.

Things we do---3

2007-12-17T15:15:00.001-05:00

"Hello beautiful" some one said right behind her and Viji almost jumped out of her skin. She turned around to see a tall man with red hair and big smile.
"Excuse me" Viji said hesistantly "are you talking to me??"
"Ofcourse i am..i dont go around calling dude's beautiful" he said and on second glance she realized that the guy was probably not much older than her, just plain rude.
"I am Dan and i am your student advisor" he said when Viji continued to stare at him "i am here to help you get familarized with the department"
"i am sorry..but i was not told about it" Viji finally managed to break her stupor, for never in her life has she been addressed like this, not even by the rogues who harass girls in madras.
"well..duh that is why i am here to introduce myself" Dan said with a bright smile, his blue eyes were twinkling with mischief.
"oh...ok" Viji said quietly, she had landed in US two days back and since then it has been one confusion after another and with each passing moment she felt herself becoming very home sick. She just stood silently waiting for Dan to say something, something must have shown in her face for his smile faltered.
"well....how do you pronounce your name???" he asked
"Vijayalakshmi" she responded.
"Vijaayelesmi.." he returned and inspite of herself Viji smiled.
"No..well all my friends call me Viji" she said
"well that is much easier " Dan said and then spreading him arm about he said expansively "this is the place you are going to be enslaved if you are lucky for only five years..and you if you are a smart fella like me..an even ten" he laughed at his own joke and Viji smiled hesitantly at that.

"five years..i cant do it" she thought and all the tears she had been trying to control suddenly spilled out.
"huh...are you ok" Dan asked looking at her all mirth lost.
"yeah ..i am fine" She said and then sobbed. She missed home and her dad and in this strange new place there was no one to comfort and no place that she could feel safe in.
"ahem..i am sorry, gosh did not mean to make you cry" Dan said " me and my jokes, my ma always said that i have my dad's weird sense of humour but i never have made any one cry this much"
"its not you.." Viji managed "it is just so difficult"
"well it is a difficult transisition" Dan agreed "well i can show you around the department later, how about a cup of joe"
"huh???" Viji asked wiping her tears
"coffee i mean" Dan corrected.
"okie" Viji agreed, suddenly this cooky american did not seem all that bad or rude to her. "well he was the first one to ask me if i was ok " she thought and it made her feel cold.
"i promise you..the coffee will definitely perk you up.." Dan said with a smile as he led her out of the department "now beautiful tell me a bit about yourself..so i could guide you better.."

************************************************************************************
The cuckoo clock chimed in the midnight hour breaking Viji out of her reverie, a small smile still curved her lips as she thought about how long she had talked to Dan that day, but she returned home light hearted and more importantly hopeful. Dan always made her feel that way, he made her laugh and hopeful.
She looked at the cordless once again and no call from Sekar yet..."i wish you would call me" she whispered, willing the phone to ring but it did not.

Continued...

Things we do..-2

2007-10-29T20:03:00.000-04:00

Viji set about doing everything that was essential to get in to school, her father was very encouraging but the rest of her family was not which did not surprise her. Her grandmother came over almost every evening to talk to her father about sending unmarried girl off to a foreign country "nataraja..what are you thinking, we can understand that she is motherless child but you cant give in to her every whim and fancy" her grandmother almost ended every evening with that statement.

"well it is one of the hazards of having relatives living a street away from you " Viji once vented to her friend Vinaya. "don't worry about them" Vinaya responded "concentrate on getting the entrance cleared and other essential things that need to be completed"

Viji focused all her energy for now going to a foreign school became more of an obsession. Months ran fast and she got a call back from the one of the top universities in US. Viji was ecstatic and she ran to Vinaya's house to see if her friend will be joining her there.

"No Viji..i got a rejection from them three days back" Vinaya responded despondently " and i have not heard from any other school either"

"and good thing too" Vinaya's mom said as she walked in to the room with snacks "my little darling is not going so far away from me". Viji's joy was dimished but she still had her hopes up that Jayanthi might still be going to US with her. She quickly excused herself and headed back home. Once there she quickly called Jayanthi who answered the phone gleefully. Not only had she gotten in to the same university as Viji but also from MIT.

"so which one are you going to choose" Viji asked anxiously.

"UPitt ofcourse, after all we three did plan to go to school together" Jayanthi replied which put a smile on viji' face.

"i dont think Vinaya will be joining us" Viji said and explained what had happened in her place.

"yeah her mom was not really encouraging about that" Jayanthi replied "so i am not that shocked"

"yeah atleast two of us will be together "Viji said once again on cloud nine.

Few weeks passed with Viji filing all necessary paper work for Visa and also battling with her grandmother, uncles and aunts who had now started hassling her along with her father.
"i wish you will not open the door" Viji complained one evening
"kanna (dear)" her appa said " if you are very sure about something you should be able to defend your ideas in face of any opposition. You are going abroad to increase your knowledge right, so tell them that and shut out the negative energy"

"i am heading to bank" Her father said one day "to arrange for some loan".
"why do we need a Loan appa" Viji asked truly perplexed, for she knew they were not very rich like Jayanthi's family but still they are well off. Her father explained the expenditure involved in the process to her and for the first time she understood how finance ruled most decisions especially for a middle class family like hers. She resolved to be better and do everything well.

Weeks flew by and Viji got her Visa, and with two months left for her to fly she decided to get shopping done. Armed with the list of the things obtained from her seniors she headed to T.nagar with Jayanthi.

"you are quiet" Viji observed "what happened?? i actually thought we will go together and apply for Visa but your amma said that you had yours already".

"well ..yeah" Jayanthi replied " Viji i accepted MIT. Its my parents they said i should go to the best school and we have many friends and relatives close to the campus there and it is a top school"

"oh.." Viji said feeling deflated suddenly. "you are not mad at me .." Jayanthi said " well both the schools are in the east coast and we can see each other whenever we want..it is so much easier in US"

"no.." Viji replied half heartedly "yeah.."

"well lets complete the shopping" Jayanthi replied relieved. Shopping was a hazy experience for Viji for she also pictured all three girls heading to US together and having fun like they did in their undergraduate college. "may be i should not go" she thought as she headed home, all her relatives admonishments becoming more real.

As she entered the house she saw her father was talking heatedly to her grandmother " amma i have made up my mind" he said " Viji is a smart girl and has worked hard. I trust her and even if i have to sell this house she is going to study where she wants. I would appreciate if you would stop pestering me about this matter. It is settled and she is going to US to study, and i dont want to hear anything more from you in this regard"

Viji froze for she had never heard her father so angry and she silently slipped in to her room, tears she had been holding back tumbled out of her eyes. She suddenly realized that she would really and truly be alone in a foreign country "but i cant let appa down.." she thought "i am a friendly person i should be able to get along with people. i can do this". With that thought decided she came downstairs to find her appa sitting in the dining table.

"so kanna how was your shopping???" her father asked

"it was great appa" Viji realized "but i have to go again..few more things to collect"

"good" her father said with a big smile "I only want the best for you"

.....to be continued

Things we do...

2007-10-28T13:14:00.000-04:00

Viji placed her six month old son rajeev in the crib, the baby was fast asleep. She ran her hand gently over his head and marvelled at his perfect nose and mouth "..just like his dad" she thought fondly. Silently she glided out of the nursery to the living room, the giant clock on the mantle showed it was half past ten at night. Ravi her husband was not back from work yet, she wondered what was keeping him so late.
she picked the cordless phone and dialed his cell phone.."hi you have reached ravi, i am not available please leave a message after the beep.." his deep resonant voice came on. She hung up the phone not wanting to leave another message. "he is still mad...what will be do" she thought and helpless tears spilled from her eyes. Fussing over the baby had calmed her nerves all day but now that rajeev was asleep all her fears and guilt came to forefront. She had hoped to talk to Ravi as soon as he came back from work. She had even prepared his favourite food for dinner.
She glanced at the cold food on the table, Ravi had not even eaten breakfast that morning.
Her shoulders shook silently as tears tumbled out of her eyes.." with my own words i have destroyed my marriage.." she thought.
As tears dried out she thought about the events of past both near and far that had led her to that moment.
*********************************************************************************
"are you sure about this kanna" her father has asked her then, worried but wanting to be supportive of his only daughter. Ever since her mother had passed away when she was child her dad had been her world.
"yes appa" she said her eyes burning bright, imagining all the adventures she will have travelling to a new country. Later she had realized that it was because of all those alluring soaps she had seen on Star TV and vague reports from her friends. "Riya..my senior appa said that the schools there are great especially for engineering and once you graduate the job is almost assured. she said that if i wanted a job in india having a degree from US will increase my worth" her absolute confidence in all Riya had to say was evident, even though she had never talked more than ten words to that girl when she was going to her college in india.
Worried frown increased on her appa's face " Think about it da..it is very far from home and you really will be on your own, cant even come back if you want to"
"appa i am all grown up, gosh i am almost 22 years old and this will be a great chance for me" Viji had insisted "i have lived in hostel all on my own for last four years and i wont be alone all my class mates are also applying. Myself, vinaya and jayanthi have decided to apply to the same schools so i will have friends.."
"ok da Kanna if you are so sure" her appa had said with a smile hiding his worry, he had always had hard time saying no to Viji especially since she had never demanded anything from him and had always been the model student.
With permission from her father Viji involved herself completely in the process with writing all entrance exams and application process.....
to be continued

As the season changes....

2007-10-20T21:51:00.000-04:00

It has been eons since i last posted here ..but today i suddenly was inspired to do so. I think my last post was sometime in 2006 and an year has passed since then. I have completed my PhD..defended it successfully last month ( i still cant believe i completed it :D). I wonder what my blog friends have been up to..:D.
Anyways i think i will post more regularly from now on ..(hopefully!!!!!!)
Cheers
jeenu

Tagged by Vi sweetie :D

2006-08-04T14:49:00.000-04:00

Im thinking about
1. how iam going to enjoy this month without my boss bothering me ..hehehehe( he is actually out town for the month of august..hurray)
2. Strength of human spirit
3. Beauty of the world around me
4.my dad and mom

I said
1.sambar tastes better with idli than with dosa ..:P

I want
1. Strength to do what is right no matter who opposes me
2. courage to face the truth and accept it
3.Equaminity to accept the things that i cant change

I wish
that i could be happy with simple things..

i Hear
1. Hum of my laptop
2. "give it up to me" sean paul
3.chattering of my lab mate from her desk
4. sonicator that is putting my teeth on edge

I wonder
1.About the delicate balance that is our body and how people abuse it thinking it is invincible
2. the beauty of everything that is around us and how we all miss to enjoy it everyday :)

I regret
Actually i cant think of a single thing now ..:D

Iam
1. Very friendly
2. a chatter box as well as a good listener
3. pretty vindicative when iam mad

I dance
almost every weekend ..well whenever iam happy

i Sing
when iam happy

i Cry
1. only when iam alone can never cry in front of others
2. only when the situation seems hopeless and at the end of the crying bout i somehow feel positive as if i have washed out all the negative feelings off me

i am not
1. naive..i would say never was
2. very patient with people who think too much of themselves
3. judgemental ( atleast try not to be)

i make with my hands ..pretty good Gulab jamuns and lemon rice

i write..whenever i feel and think..:D

i confuse
Living with planing

i need
My family
my cell phone as it connects me to all my friends
Books

Jeenu on her own

2006-07-19T16:00:00.000-04:00

Some one at work asked me how i was faring living alone and it got me thinking..so here it goes comparison of my life in US with a room mate and without a room mate

Before:
i have to get up before my room mate does or else i will be stuck waiting for an hour to brush my teeth and get all the morning ablutions done.

Now
i get up whenever i want and walk in to take showe..*sigh* probably the best feeling ever..

Before:
when i come home i usually switch on a TV whether iam watching it or not becos as long as i have to assualt my ear drum with some crap sound i guess i can as well do it with something i like..:D

Now
i sit on the table and have a relaxing cuppa of chai and enjoy the silence when i get back home.

Before :
I have to wait for my turn to cook ( we both kept our cooking seperate) so by the end of the day when i get home ,i have no energy to wash other's dirty dishes. so i rarely cooked

Now:
Trying to be this generation's Lakshmi ammal..:))

Before:
have to make sure that it is ok with your room mate to have party or get together in the house

Now:
"lets get the party started...whenever for whatever"

I think i can keep the list going on and on but in short all iam trying to convey is ..jeenu loves her new apartment and recommends everyone who has never lived on their own to try it..it is such an awesome feeling.

cheers
jeenu

jeenu says

2006-06-20T11:30:00.000-04:00

Finally the penultimate week of june is and i have been looking forward to this week for almost 6 months now..since December 2005 when i made the decision. it was not an easy one to make and when i seeked the advice of my friends regarding this most of them were like
"are you sure you are ready for that??" "can you handle it"
These queries intially made me very nervous but eventually i decided iam ready and now here it is
if you are wondering what that decision is Jeenu is moving in to a single bedroom apartment on her own this week :D

of Graduations and grand kids:)

2006-05-21T22:46:00.000-04:00

This was the Graduating weekend in my school and i got to attend the first graduating ceremony in my department. the first part of the ceremony is called as walking the lawn where graduating students from different deparments in the university walk the length of the historic"lawn" as it is refered to in the university circles to much delight of their family and friends.
As the students were walking i could see so many parents who were so proud of their kids, i think today i was in the one of those places where there was no malice or discontent in any of the hearts..the entire area which was jampacked with people was redolent with love and hope.
One sight that caught my eye was that of a frail old man sitting in his wheel chair all hunched up. he was attended by one of his kin but for most part he was sitting very quietly. in my estimate he seemed to be in his late 80's. the heat and humidity of the place seemed to suck the energy right out of him but still i never once heard him complain and as the students starting walking the lawn i saw life comeback in to his eyes and he sat up straight in his chair and then suddenly he was standing up waving wildly to a blond haired boy , there was tears down cheeks but i saw the spark of life in them too. His face perhaps best reflected to me the feelings of a parent on seeing that the their future generation was well of in to the next step. After the kid passed him he slumped back in to his chair but there seemed to be some quiet contenment in him and i imagined that from come from the fact that in some little way the future is secure for his Grand kid ( i came to know that later) and in a little way he has contributed to it.
somehow the old man's face stuck with me all day and so i decided to blog about it and also dream a little about my own graduation...

Jeenu

A nice song

2006-05-16T14:07:00.000-04:00

i was listening to the radio as usual today morning to go to lab and then this song came on . i have heard this song being played on the radio a lot these days but have not payed much attention to it and somehow today morning i did and the lyrics just felt so apt..so after the cribbing blog i decided to post a song that some how made me think of playing in rain.. here are the lyrics for the song

Listen to it whenever u have time junta

cheers
jeenu

Bad day
Daniel powter

Where is the moment when needed the most
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
They tell me your blue skies fade to grey
They tell me your passion's gone away
And I don't need no carryin' on
You stand in the *light just to hit a new low
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go
You tell me your life's been way off line
You're falling to pieces everytime
And I don't need no carryin' on
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day
Well you need a blue sky holiday
The point is they laugh at what you say
And I don't need no carryin' on
You had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
(Oh.. Holiday..)
Sometimes the system goes on the blink
And the whole thing turns out wrong
You might not make it back and you know
That you could be well oh that strong
And I'm not wrong
(yeah...)
So where is the passion when you need it the most
Oh you and I
You kick up the leaves and the magic is lost
Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
You've seen what you like
And how does it feel for one more time
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

when you have a bad day...

2006-05-14T11:37:00.000-04:00

Let's just say if this weekend was erased out i will be happy and i cant believe iam saying that...the previous week has not gone great at all what with my budda snapping at me and basically telling me that i need to get more work done.."common budda.." i felt like screaming " i have been working my tail off for almost last 3 months i have not taken any weekend off ..worked atleast 12 hours minimum each day..and all i get from you is work hard..i might as well shift to my lab why waste money paying rent for an aparment that i mostly come and see at night." but ofcourse being me i did not scream at him..actually in that one hour tirade i hardly got more than 2 secs inbetween to say "Huh" "yes" "No" and finally when i thought i can speak he got a call and he dismissed me..i waited for 5 mins outside his room to see if he will get free but he did not and i walked off feeling very miserable..

i came to US leaving my family behind and sacrificing so many things because i knew that this is what i want to do i want to get my PhD for last 4 years my life has revolved around my work everything is adjusted to it..i have not been to india mainly because taking a month off might hinder my research..and now to hear my budda say that i need to work hard and i need much better time management just got on my nerves and not to forget the fact for last month and half i have not been able to sleep for more than hour at night ..oh i sleep alright but it is so restless that i hardly get any rest..

Anyways this weekend was something i was looking forward too and here iam sitting at my desk sunday morning actually more tired and more lost..i am just getting mad at me for feeling like this now..just cant wait for this week to start.

a very frazzled
jeenu

Mangalyam thantuna nena..-8

2006-05-03T13:13:00.000-04:00

Vishali spotted shankar walking towards her and headed out to him
"hey you..how are you??" vishali tried to be cheerful. It has been almost a month since sudha had come back still shankar always looked grim these days and fact that people and students here have been gossiping about it had not helped at all..but she wanted to break him out of this gloomy mood and tried to be cheerful around him all the time.
"Hmmmm" shankar replied.
Grunts and monosyllable replies had been his response of late .vishali tried to get him to talk to her but he never opened up and when she insisted he just got angry and walked out in a huff. He was not hanging out with any of his other friends either
"atleast he has not started avoiding me yet" vishali sighed internally "what is going to make him to talk..atleast sudha was more communicative these days."
It has become a daily ritual for vishali to go to shankar's place and spend an hour with sudha after college and after the initial week she had started talking a lot to vishali..yesterday they both had even gone briefly to get some lassi and then sudha had insisted on taking a walk in the park..vishali was very excited with that but shankar on the other hand has become more quiet not talking about anything relavent..he has not been attending most of his classes too even though he had come to college regulary..she always had found him sitting alone deep in woods that borders the end of college and most of the times vishali sat there with him trying to get him to talk but he always claimed he was ok..
"iam going to canteen to get some chai..want to come" vishali asked
"ok" shankar replied
Vishali started chattering about the class and fresh year's party that she and swapna were incharge of but shankar just was not paying any attention to her and eventually vishali stopped her monologue and sat down silently in canteen with him sipping her chai.
"shankar iam worried about you" vishali started
"why..iam ok" he replied
"no you are not " something snapped in vishali " if u dont want to talk to me about it say it so but dont lie and say that everything is ok..we have known each practically all our lives i know that things are not ok..what happened was not ok and i want you to react ..."vishali realized that she was screaming and to her horror she felt tears sliding down her cheek but thankfully there were not may people in the canteen and the manager was trying his best to ignore them ..
" i love you and i cant see you like this.." she whispered
"i love you too.." shankar said breaking down " why should all this happen to sudha..why my family??"
"i dont know.." vishali said squeezing shankar's hand and tried to comfort him as he let all his anguish out...

***********************************************************************************
"oh he is so cute..thanks Vishali" sudha exclaimed as she hugged vishali
Vishali had gifted her a small pup and the smile fromr sudha was worth it..vishali felt herself reflecting the good as sudha took the pup on to her lap and started cooing to it and hearing little yaps everyone in the house came to look
"oh nai kutti (puppy)" patti exclaimed
"mine patti vishali got it for me" sudha exclaimed and giggled when the pup licked her hand
Sudha's father and shankar scooted down to take a good look at the dog and in no time every one was playing with it
"enna peru vaikaruku??(what should we name him)" shankar's mom asked excitedly
and that was met with barrage of suggestions from all the family members
"tiger" shankar said
"illai da ithu dorai veetu naai ya ( no it is not a british dog)" patti said " we will call him ganesh"
"enna ma naaiku vinayakaroda perra( what amma you are keeping god's name to dog)" shankar's appa mused "well pora vazikku punniyam( collecting good deeds when we die)" his appa roared with laughter
"i think it is sudha's dog we should let her name it" vishali said quietly...it felt the old days in this house..it has been almost 6 months since sudha had come back and it felt good to see them all happy
" well i have to think on that one" sudha said and started playing with the pup
"you are blessing for this family kannama" shankar's mom said and when vishali turned to look at her there were tears in her eyes " i never thought she will laugh like this again ..."emotions choked her voice
Vishali just hugged his mom and stood watching sudha play with the puppy..

*************************************************************************************
"i am filing for annulment Vishali" sudha replied in a sober voice
"oh..well it is long overdue but why an annulment why not a divorce..may be u can make him pay for his actions" vishali asked her a little heatedly
" i dont want any of his money..i want that part of my life not to exist . i want erase the fact that we were even married ..i feel that will make me free vishali..look at me i wasted almost an year of my life and does that even bother that guy no he is now happily living with that girl..i dont want him to spoil rest of my life because of him..i want to make my parents and my brother happy again and a person who is not happy herself can never make others happy vishali..i want to be happy again ..i feel i will be shackled as a divorcee too becos it means our marriage did not work..but there was no marriage to start with..that is why i want this annulment..
Iam going to make something out of myself do things that make me happy.." sudha said calmly
"sudha if that is what will make you happy then iam happy for you and 100% with you " vishali said squeezing her friend's hand
"i went and talked to Vasantha madam a week back..you know our principal in sankara vidhyalaya and applied for teacher's job there and today morning she called me to let me know that i have been accepted" a triumphant smile graced sudha's face and vishali beamed at her
"wow..u are gonna be a teacher..that is just great " vishali hugged her friend congratulating her
"i know it a small step but it is a start " sudha replied hugging her friend with equal vigour

*************************************************************************************
Five years in to future
Vishali smiled and sprinkled paneer at the people who were entering the temple..welcoming them for the wedding, shankar smiled at her and started walking towards her
" how are you doing..??" he asked her putting an arm around her shoulder
"let me see sudha is getting married to the guy who is love with her...your parents are happy and we have been happily married for an year..yes i would officially say iam doing great and things could not be better" vishali beamed putting her head on his shoulder
"well want to go and see my sister getting married .." shankar asked
smiling arm in arm vishali and shankar walked towards the area of wedding. sudha had met vivek about 2 years back during parents teacher's meeting. he had come as a stand in for his sister and brother in law and was smitten by sudha and rest as they say is history

"if there ever was a kodak moment" vishali thought" this is one " looking around at the proud faces of shankar's parents no my parents too she corrected herself to the happy face of sudha and vivek so much in love with each other .... shankar squeezed her hand and she squeezed his hand back and gave him a small special smile that she gave no one else ...

In a little while the pandit called for " getti melam"( drums) and as vivek started tying the mangal sutra started saying the mantra that would bind two loving souls in the holy bond of matrimony " mangalyam thanuthana nena..mama jeevana hetuna.."

Mangalyam thantuna nena..-7

2006-04-29T16:26:00.001-04:00

"hello swapna" Vishali called out to her friend
"hey you are back??? how was the trip" Swapna asked excitedly hugging vishali
"it was awesome..." vishali gushed " 3 weeks of pure fun and u know how much i love to travel..i have to develope the photos once i do that i will show you all..kerala is an awesome place yaar"
"well all i always told u that" swapna replied . she was from kerala."when did u get back"
"yesterday night" vishali replied"have you seen shankar.."
"No come to think of it i have not seen him for almost a month" swapna replied "hey this is semester break who is gonna be foolish enough come here during holidays.." and then what she said hit her and she started laughing " other than me..well i had to still complete the assignment ..got an extension" she replied defensively.
"oh ok..anyways i came to check if the semester results have been posted" vishali replied
"not yet DPS told me it will be up day after tommorow" swapna added
"oh ok...since we are here anyways why dont we just get some tea from canteen" vishali said
"ok" swapna replied"let me go and submit this assignment first"

************************************************************************************
Vishali called shankar once she got home and his mother picked up the phone
"hello mami(aunty)..vishali here..eppadi irrukel( how are you??"
"etho irrukondi ...(somehow surviving)"his mom replied and her voice sounded as if she was crying
"mami...are u ok??" vishali asked her
At that his mom started crying and vishali felt a sense of unease settle in her stomach
"mami enna acchu (what happened?) een azarel ( why are u crying?)"
when his mom started crying even more "iam comming over there mami" vishali said and kept the phone down
Vishali's mom taking in the tone of her daughter asked her " what's wrong??"
"i dont know i called shankar's place and his mom sounded very distraught..she was crying mom" vishali felt very upset at that and her mom decided to come with her too
************************************************************************************
Vishali knocked on shankar's house door looked at her mom .she felt very apprehensive she had never seen shankar's mom cry in all the time she has known her. she was one of those people who always looked at positive side of things no matter what happened and fact that she was crying did not bode well.
Shankar's dad opened the door. He looked very gaunt and his eyes looked red rimmed
"hello mama..enna achhu??( what happened??)" vishali asked as her mom hurriedly went in to the house to talk to shankar's mom who was standing in the living room. on seeing vishali and her mom she started crying and vishali's mom hugged her started guiding her to kitchen.

"mama enna achu..( uncle what happened??) is everything ok.." vishali asked her tension showing in her voice.
"kanna periya thappu panniten naan ( dear i have made a very big mistake) ..never should have sent sudha to US or gotten her married to that scoundrel..." Shankar's dad suppressed a sob
" is sudha ok mama???" vishali nearly shrieked the question...but she was not paying any attention to it..right now things started looking very surreal to her
"ennoda kuzhandaioda vazkaiyai naane pazungathula thalliten( i have spoiled my own kid's life)" her dad wailed and at that point shankar walked in to the room supporting sudha.
when Vishali saw sudha she gasped she looked like she was dead...
"sudha..enna achu( what happened) how are you" vishali asked as she rushed to her side
But sudha did not say anything she was just staring at some thing in distance..
"she has been like this since yesterday...i wish she will cry" shankar said despair plain in his eyes
"will someone tell me what happened" vishali asked firmly
"i told u vishali..we will never get what we want..it is all about compromise for us" sudha replied in a quiet voice and that actually vishali a lot
"sudha .." vishali started but sudha kept talking
"divakar never wanted to marry me but was scared to say that to his parents. he liked another girl there and since she was of not the same caste he knew his parents will not agree so under parental pressure he agreed to marry me. once we got married he realised that i was not right for him and that he could not live without that other girl. so a week after we reached US he just left our house and never came back for about a week and after that this girl shravanti came and told me that my husband loves her and wants to live with her only..so he had moved in to her place..he did not even have courage to come and tell me that in person. i stayed alone in that house for another week before i could think. i then contacted one of friends relative there and with their help came back home" sudha said in a low monotous voice .
Vishali felt her world reel under her feet.."if i am feeling like this..how sudha must have felt in a new place without friends or family" vishali thought and tears started pouring down her eyes as she hugged sudha
"when did she come here" Vishali whispered
"two days back" shankar replied "her friends relative called us a week back with the news and we were trying since then to get her back here"
By then Vishali's mom walked in to the room with a tray of hot coffee with shankar's patti( grand mother) in tow bearing some biscuits.
For the first time vishali saw patti without a smile on her face . Vishali looked from shankar's patti to shankar's mom, dad ..she saw a family that looked so lost...it made vishali cry even more
"have you talked to his family" vishali asked
"yeah" shankar replied bitterly" we are very sorry..we never thought our son will do this..we will talk to our son..dont worry..as if my sister will go back to him after all this happened"
"i think i will lie down for a bit" sudha replied in her emotionless voice and started walking towards her room and vishali followed her to make sure that she was ok
once sudha was settled in her bed and vishali felt confident that she is ok she walked back in to the living room and walked to her mom.
" they have not eaten anything for 2 days..iam gonna cook something for them to eat and i have called your dad he will be here..."her mom said..
"do u want help amma( mom)" vishali asked
"its ok..u stay here and keep them company.." her mom replied and then impulsively she hugged her daughter and then wiping her eyes she walked in to the kitchen

Vishali then walked to shankar's mom and putting a hand around her shoulders she sat down and then she looked around at everyone around her and she saw that they all looked like they were all lost in their own thoughts..
The entire house was quite except for the sound of her mother cooking in kitchen ...

Mangalyam thantuna nena..-6

2006-04-18T16:14:00.000-04:00

Vishali sat lost in her thoughts in the library an open book of Integral calculus was sitting in front of her but that was the last thing on her mind right now
"Does shankar feel the same way about me??" she thought and that had been the thought that had been going on in her mind since sudha's wedding a week back.
sometimes she felt that he did but sometimes she thought may be she was imagining it all...
" Vishali.... did you find the equation for problem 4??" Swapna asked and that brought Vishali back to reality
" No...let me look" vishali replied glumly
" really i know this is not the most exciting course that we have taken but i have never seen u this distracted.. what is up with you??" swapna asked with a little concern in her voice
" did not get a good night's sleep yaar feeling very sleepy now..and this is not helping the matter" vishali said gesturing to the book..
"oh...you want to continue tommorow??? u can rest today that way we can get better work done" Swapna said
"no yaar..lets complete it today..let me get some tea iam sure i will feel better " vishali replied"u want to come with me the canteen??"
" Dont feel like Tea..why dont u get some for yourself and hopefully by the time u come back i would have finished the problem" swapna said
"ok" vishali said and started walking towards the canteen and in the distance and she saw shankar walking towards her
" hey how are u?? whats up with you u did not return my calls??" he asked worried
" err.. was little busy" Vishali replied half heartedly. somehow suddenly being around him had made her nervous and she could not understand it
"anyways sudha and diavkar are leaving tommorow ..so we are having a little get together today evening..." shankar drawled
"hey i have stuff to submit tommorow ..it is that calculus class " vishali sighed" i dont think i can come yaar...but i will call sudha and talk to her"
"Is there something wrong vishali" shankar asked
" no...nothing iam just worried about the calculus exam.." Vishali said
"I know you too well to know that it is not what is worrying you..c'mon yaar we are friends..u can tell me" shankar insisted
" hey nothing at all..i have to get back to library swapna is waiting for me there...just came to get some tea and then i have to tackle the assignment.." vishali grimaced
Vishali entered the canteen with shankar in tow and found it to be empty she got her tea and as she turned to leave shankar caught her hand and vishali froze
" i have something to tell u ..." he said vishali felt her heart beating faster as she looked at shankar .she felt like her tongue was stuck to the roof of her mouth she wanted ask him what he was doing holding her hand in a public place but so many questions also flooded through her mind..that she was unable to form one comprehensible question
"hey Vishali..." swapna called from the entrance of the canteen and shankar hurriedly let go of her hand " you forgot your wallet" she said walking in to the canteen
" hey shankar" swapna smiled at him " when is your sister flying to US"
"Tommorow" shankar replied very curtly " vishali i have to go now all the best to u girls"
Shankar waved to them over his shoulder and walked out of the canteen
" what is eating him" swapna asked looking at vishali
" i dont know ..i guess he is feeling low because his sister is leaving..thanks for getting my wallet yaar..i did not even realize that it was not with me.." vishali replied " lets go and finish the assignment"
**********************************************************************************
Vishali woke up and found that the sun was already up bright and shining..her eyes felt grainy from lack of sleep" damn the calculus assignment" she thought it had taken lot longer than she anticipated "s*** i have to call sudha" Vishali bounded out of her bed and called sudha
" hello can i talk to sudha" she said to the voice on the other line who turned out to be divakar
" sudha is taking shower..may i know who is this calling" He asked
" this is vishali..we met at your wedding" vishali replied hesitantly..he did not seem all that friendly to her
" i will ask her to give you a call later" he said curtly and hung up the phone
" yaruma phone la(who was on the phone??)" vishali's dad asked her
" i called Sudha at her Inlaws place pa" Vishali replied giving him a quick hug and peck on the cheek
by the time Vishali got ready she still had not gotten a call from sudha ..so she called again and this time sudha came on the phone
" hello Mrs. divakar eppadi irrukenga??( hello mrs divakar how are you??)" Vishali asked teasingly
" Alive " sudha replied and she sounded like she had been crying
" hey enna acchu??( what happened??) u sound like u have been crying?" vishali asked with concern
"onnum illai ( nothing) just feeling bad that iam gonna be leaving today" sudha replied in a subdued voice
" hey dont worry yaar we will never let you miss us all...u can always call and talk to us whenever you want and shankar will be comming there to study too soon..send me emails regulary and we can chat ..it will be like we close to each other" Vishali tried to console her
" i know..i have to go now vishali people have come to see us off..if u can it will be nice to meet u before i leave" She said
" i will try .." vishali promised " bye take care"
Vishali then hurried out of home feeling a little sad" why is it tht girls have to leave everything behind when they get married...well iam not gonna be like that..shankar is gonna come and stay her with my parents" and that thought made vishali blush .
**********************************************************************************
Vishali parked her scooty in the parking lot and hurried to the terminal hoping she was not late
it was almost 6pm in the evening and her lab had gotten cancelled and so she decided to go to the airport to meet sudha. she had decided on the whim but now as she neared the terminal and saw lot of people milling about she realized that it might be difficult to locate sudha just when she was about to give up she saw shankar's dad and patti and came running towards them
" hello mama, patti" She said taking deep breath's because of her running
" Sudha onnoda friend ( your friend) " shankar's appa hollered
"hey" sudha smiled " i did not expect that you will come" smile seemed very genuine and she looked very haggard and her face was tear stained
" Did u think i will let go of you without even saying..Bye" vishali said hugging sudha
Tears trembled at the corner of her eyes " dont worry sudha everything will be fine..email me whenever u can ok..u know me i online most of the evenings..we can fix a time to chat..ok" vishali said
Sudha just nodded her
" sudha we have to go now" divakar said
" ok da kannama ( darling) take care" patti said and surrounded by her family she walked towards the terminal and soon was out of vishali's sight
"poor girl she has never been away from her mom and dad for even a day since she was kid and now she is flying all the way across the world.." patti said wiping her tears
" dont worry patti ..she will be fine" Vishali replied and put an hand around patti's shoulder and saw shankar hugging his mom who was crying a lot.
when she looked towards sudha's inlaws they are seemed to be a little tense and worried " well they must be feeling sad too.." Vishali thought

Mangalyam thantuna nena..-5

2006-04-12T20:01:00.000-04:00

The Wedding hall was bustling with people comming in and going out. The hall entrance had an elaborate Kollam( rangoli) in arisi mavu (Rice flour)
"patti must have been incharge of that " vishali thought smiling to herself. she had come for the viradham ( pre wedding ceremony in all Brahmin marriage) along with her parents.
on entering the hall she noticed both the bride and the groom,s family were chanting matra's .
on seeing vishali shankar a huge smile and came to greet her
" hello mama ,mami vangao ( come in uncle and aunty)" he said very formally.
Vishali smiled mischieviously at him " enna ( what) u wont give the invite for me"
"well vishali madam do come in " he said with a mock bow vishali's parents laughed along with her
" ennapa shankar akkaku kalyanama ( what shankar you sister is getting married today)" vishali's mom asked him . Vishali's parents were very fond of shankar and it was very evident in the way her mom and dad talked to him now.
By that time shankar's mom came over to greet them too and she needed some grown up help and both her parents went to help her.
" i thought you will comming in a saree today" shankar said
" well i dont want to wear it everyday ..u know the effect comes when worn on special occasions" vishali replied putting on false air and then burst out laughing " well i will wear saree for the wedding and reception" she replied seriously
" anyways amma has selected a saree for you ...for our wedding..errr i mean for sudha's wedding" shankar colored furiously..he could not believe he said that
Vishali colored too " oh that is sweet of her she did not have to..." she replied half heartedly and then both of them fell silent and thankfully patti came looking for her and asked vishali to sit with sudha during the ceremony to give her company
During the entire ceremony vishali kept thinking about shankar and about their future they both have never talked about them.. they had always been happy to be friends and have never discussed things beyond that...but somehow being in a wedding today made vishali wonder about her's
" this is foolish " she thought but everytime she looked up at shankar and their eyes met she blushed becos she could almost the same thoughts going through his head.
***********************************************************************************
The wedding was early next morning but before that there was Unjal( swing) ceremony which was a occasion for much good natured ribbing of both the bride and the groom. Sudha looked resplendant in her dark green kanchiveram silk saree . Her long black hair was braided with a jasmine and rose flowers interwined in the braid. she was decked with all the tradition jewellery like netti chutti( ornament on head) to uddiyanam( gold chain around the waist) she really looked like an angel to the vishali.
All around her people were dressed in their finest with tons of jewellery. Vishali looked very nice in her Red color silk saree that shankar's mom had bought for her. Many people actually told her she looked very beautiful that made her blush .
She kept looking out for shankar but he was very busy and was running all around the hall and she was little disappointed that he did not compliment her ...even though she understood that he had to work.
The wedding ceremony itself was very interesting with matras being chanted and with it the siginificance of the ceremony hit her
Durning kanya dhanam ( giving away of the bride) the significance of the matras brought tears to her eyes. she was with sudha through out the ceremony and as she saw divakar very religiously repeating all the mantras and all the small smiles that he gave sudha actually put vishali's mind to rest becos the way things have been before the wedding .
" may be things do get better after getting married.." vishali thought and at that moment she caught sight of shankar comming towards the stage and their eyes met and Vishali blushed ..
Shankar came and stood next to her and translated the mantra for her
"She standeth here, pure before the holy fire, as one blessed with boons of a good mind, a healthy body, life-long companionship of her husband ( Sumangali Bhagyam ) and children with long life. She standeth as one who is avowed to stand by her husband virtuously. Be she tied with this red-grass rope, to the sacrament of marriage"
And as her father offered Sudha's Hand to her husband and recited the mantra shankar stealthily caught her hand and translated the matra for her
"I offer ye my daughter, a maiden virtuous, good-natured, very wise, decked with ornaments to the best of my ability-; that she shall guard the Dharma, Wealth, and Love! "
Vishali was very confused and felt flushed and happy at the same time but she did not pull away he hand either and when he actually let go of her hand she actually felt a twinge of sadness
" well i cant expect him to stand here holding my hand" she thought
after kanya dhanam( giving away of the girl) came the mangalya dharam and the groom tied the mangalyam ( mangal sutra) to the matra
" magalyam thantuna nena mama jeevana hetuna ( with this sacres thread i accept you as my wife..)....." as the pandits recited these mantras Vishali felt like two souls were meshed together for this life
and then came Pani ghrahanam ( holding hands) and Saptha padhi ( seven steps) and as all mantras were uttered Vishali thought that she could actually see Sudha and Divakar actually becoming married.
Vishali suddenly felt the process no longer seemed like a ritual but a profound age old process of uniting two people in the sacred bond for eternity"..atleast for this life.. may be becos i am in love and that is why it all makes sense" the thought creeped up on her and the thought shocked her and with that came the some doubts as to whether shankar felt the same about her......

Mangalyam thantuna nena..-4

2006-04-09T22:02:00.000-04:00

Vishali woke with a start to realize that she had fallen asleep in the middle of her math lecture . she rubbed her eyes greatful the professor DPS had not seen her snoozing he had a very nasty way of pouring water over the student to wake them.
she stifled a Yawn again and thought " i cant wait for this semester to end.."
Atleast i get to go shopping today evening " the thought perked her up .
Sudha's wedding was only 2 weeks away and she had promised her that she will go shopping with her.
Vishali was still surprised at the speed at which the wedding this is proceeding for sudha" but then i have never been so personally involved in the process may be this is how it is really done"
Vishali mused " still it had been just mere 2 months since the entire process had started and already they are getting married. sudha actually was starting to feel some prewedding jitters " shankar had told her as much but he had not elaborated on that matter.
" well i will talk to her this evening i will know what it is" Vishali thought pursuing her lips " watever it was shankar seemed very unhappy about it..if only this boring class got over"
"Vishali" professor DPS voice seemed to break her out of her reverie " can u solve this differential equation" he said
" god he had noticed i was asleep " vishali thought frantically as she started walking to the board " now what was he talking about..."
***********************************************************************************
" hey why the glum face" shankar asked when he joined her outside the class
" well i feel asleep in the class and Prof DPS made a do a problem on the board just when i got up and it was such a disaster i could not even remember which chapter we were in.." vishali replied glumly
" well forget about it yaar things like this happen" shankar said and that surprised Vishali it was not like him to give up a chance to poke fun at her
" are you ok" she asked him
" just a little worried about sudha and things at home. with only 2 weeks left amma and appa are busy with all the wedding preparations ..u know his parents always want to add one thing or the other after the arrangements were made"
Vishali had heard about these little requests that seem to be popping up from divakar's parents " what do u they want now??" vishali asked
"a light music troupe for the reception..u know all his friends might like it" shankar replied a little heatedly " there are only 2 weeks left and where will we find one??"
" hey relax ...did sudha talk to divakar about this??" vishali asked
" well that is what started the other problem divakar had not called for weeks and so amma casually asked his mom about it and then next day divakar called so sudha talked to him about these requests of his parents and all that guy said was to do as his parents asked and then after 10 mins he just hung up that was about 2 weeks back ..and then i guess he told this to his mom who called sudha and lectured her about ettiquettes of an tamil brahmin girl who is about to be married . sudha was crying the whole of the weekend and amma consoled her and told her that once she got married things will change as she will not be staying with her inlaws but in america."
Vishali felt bad for sudha and also for the fact that she had not talked to her in a week's time.." well i can rectify that today" she thought
" iam going to your house only want a lift" she asked
" no yaar i have a class in another hour i will come and meet you after that" shankar replied and said good bye to her
Vishali got on her scooty and reached shankar's house sudha was waiting for her and got on her bike not before vishali snagged some mysore pakku from shankar's patti and hugged her.
they both started towards the market centre to get some bangles first
Sudha seemed very quiet during the ride
" not the behaviour i expected from a about to be married girl" vishali said trying to make a conversation with her
" dont feel like one " sudha replied
" you know what lets first go and have some lassi and then we can do our shopping" vishali said and stopped at the nearest ice cream parlour
" hey sudha what is really up yaar" vishali asked her once they had given the orders
" i dont know vishali..i dont know if things are going wrong or something is wrong with me. u know when i thought about marraige i always was resigned to the fact it will be an arranged marriage and that it will take people to warm up to each other. i understand all that but i some how feel like divakar is feeling anything towards me there does not seem to be even a mild curiousity as to what iam doing or what i want. i dont know sometimes i feel like that but other times i feel like iam imagining it" sudha stopped looking about hesistatingly
vishali did not know what to say in response so " hey it will be ok .i think it is becos u guys have not seen each other may as ur mom says things will be better after u got married"
Vishali smiled at sudha encouragingly " now lets finish the lassi and then we can go and do some good shopping "
Sudha smiled back at her and nodded her assent.

Mangalyam thantuna nena..-3

2006-04-04T11:16:00.000-04:00

Shankar came back to their table with 2 steaming cups of masala tea..Vishali looked up from her notes and smiled closing the book.
“ I did not think u will be coming here before tomorrow” she quipped
“well see I can still surprise you “ shankar retorted “ the line was way to long ..” he said
“ so how is Sudha I have not talked to her for weeks” vishali said
‘you know she is busy shopping and all “ shankar said
“ well most of the time iam sure she is on phone”Vishali said taking a sip of masala tea
“Hmmm.. Masala tea from the canteen is the best “
“ well not exactly u know time difference between US and India and all and anyways he did send an email to her sometime last week telling her he is working on something so he is very busy” shankar replied
“ Oh.” Vishali said
************************************************************************
Vishali entered the small community hall adjusting her Saree ..she had worn a pink chiffon saree with little chikken work on her blouse.
" you are late.." shankar's dad hollered at her from other end of the hall and smiled at her
"sorry mama(uncle) " vishali replied sheepishly
" Sudha is in back room towards the left trying to get ready..i think her amma is trying to help her but u know we are oldtimers ...we dont know the happenings of new generation.." Shankar's dad winked at her
" let me go and help her then mama.." vishali started to move towards the room
" i think we need to talk to your parents about getting married too...u never realize how much your girl has grown up until u see her in a saree..u are looking very beautiful today.." shankar's dad said
Vishali blushed and said a "thanks mama" shyly
Shankar's dad then saw someone he knew entering the hall and went to talk to them and Vishali walked to Sudha's room in the hall
The place looked very festive what with all the mav illai ( mango tree leaves) and thoranam ( not sure what it is)..also some artifical potted plants were strategically aligned making it look actually a little garish vishali thought
"where is shankar..???" vishali thought as she opened the door to the room and saw sudha arguing with her mother about her hairstyle
" amma i dont want to keep kunjalam( hair adornment) in my hair.." she protested and seeing Vishali her face lit up.." vishali please tell her na.."
Both Shankar's amma and patti saw her
"enn kannae pattudum neenakaren.. podaivaila enna naana irruka paaru..(i think i myself will give her an evil eye..she looks so beautiful in saree..) " shankar's patti said looking at Vishali
Vishali blushed and then said " well today is Sudha's day paati i think she should dress as she likes..and mami( aunty) kunjalam is so old time.."
"thanks.." sudha said hugging her and shankar's amma Beamed at both the girls and then
" serima nee vandutae .( ok u are here now) dress as u girls like.."
Both of them giggled and Vishali started helping in tying sudha's peacock blue saree
" it is his fav color.." sudha said
" oh i c...starting to impress your hubby already.." vishali teased her..
"well anyways he wont be here ..so it does not matter.." sudha replied her face a little downcast" it is just for our in laws u know...our only son is getting married..we want it to be a occasion to remember...i was not enthu for it vishali getting decked like a doll and standing in front of everyone so all his relatives can look at me and pass comments..but u have do it for customs.."
"if it is custom's i think you guys could have had a small ceremony now and then a grand one later when u and divakar are together..." vishali said
Sudha rolled her eyes and said " wait till u are in my position then u will know whatever u say will have no weight ..atleast if you disagree.."
" i will be honest all this grandeur when both the guy and girl are not interested..that seems like such a waste to me..." vishali said adjusting the pleats of sudha's saree
" well all divakar said when he called me a week back that too was whatever his parents wanted.." sudha said" amma and appa want this to be grand too u know..sometimes you are helpless in these things...i feel so bad that becos of me my parents have to waste so much money.." tears brimmed in Sudha's eyes
" Appa had to sell our ancentral land for my wedding..he says that he wants it to be a grand affait..but i can see it is his parents who want it...and everytime i bring out the expenses both my parents sush me by saying that you are our only daughter and we dont mind doing it for you...it breaks my heart to see them both sitting and working out expenses..we are only middle class people vishali...i feel like such a burden to them.."
" hey Sudha comon yaar today is day of your engagement ..u should be the beaming bride there and believe me things will be fine..i think you are just having some pre wedding jitters that is all...things will all be ok..." vishali smiled trying to cheer up her friend even though in her heart vishali felt exactly as sudha did
" seri(ok) no more crying iam gonna start with you eye makeup now we are getting late ok" vishali forced more cheerfulness in to her voice and started earnestly beautifying her friend
*********************************************************************************
"appa i withdrew the amount you asked me to" shankar said passing the leather pouch with money in it..
he was worried that his appa had broken their saving's account but did not want say anything to spoil the mood.
"seri da kanna ( ok dear boy) go and see if all our guests have coffee and here comes the grooms family..let me go and greet them "he said moving to the entrance
Shankar went and talked to the caterers and after making sure that everything was going good he went to Sudha's room and after knocking on the door he heard " enter" and knew that vishali was there and was very surprised to see vishali in a saree
"wow yaaru intha mami?? ( who is this aunty..?)" he asked in his mocking voice indicating vishali
Vishali threw the comb she was using to set sudha's hair at him and said " may be we need to get your eye's checked along with your brain.."
Sudha laughed along with Vishali at shankar
" anyways came to tell you that Groom's family is here so get ready soon.." Shankar said but was still looking at Vishali with open admiration
" just 2 more mins she will be ready " vishali said getting her hair set in the right way" there you are all set.." Vishali beamed " you look so pretty..iam sure if divakar was here he would be drooling.."
Sudha smiled at her compliment " i think i should go and say hello to my In laws now.." at that moment her sister in law came in with couple of her friends and took sudha out to introduce her to her relatives and other family friends
Vishali straightened her hair and saw that shankar was still there.." you really look very pretty today" shankar said very hesitatingly
" if you are making fun of me..i will hit you with my sandals" vishali said turning to look at him
" no iam serious ..you were always beautiful but today you look radiant" he said earnestly
Somehow hearing shankar say that made Vishali Blush even more
" you both are here" shankar's mom came bustling in" the ceremony is about to begin ...let's go"
She said
vishali gave shankar a very special smile and walked out with his mom..shankar sighed and then followed them both out.

Mangalyam thantuna nena..-2

2006-03-31T10:11:00.000-05:00

"Hmmmm..patti u make the best sweets in the world" Vishali crooned, patti smiled proudly at her and just then sudha walked in to the room and Vishali jumped up and hugged her " congrats sudha...this dumbo here is not telling me anything other than UIUC " Vishali said pointing to shankar " now u have to tell me all the details.." Sudha Blushed...and Vishali could not believe it sudha always seemed so cool, collected and serene all the time. " I think we should talk in private too.." Vishali said
"that is so unfair..girls always do this" Shankar whined but the girls have already walked in to sudha's room and locked the door.
"So Sudha tell me all the interesting details.." Vishali asked
"Well he is working in Denver..." sudha started
"Ungaloda avarukku peru unda..(Does your fiancé have a name..??)" vishali teased and sudha blushed again and said " Divakar" in a shy voice
"God..i would not have believed sudha would blush"Vishali thought "She was always so mature in school.." Sudha was three years elder to shankar and all three of them have done all the schooling together.
Vishali had been a bit of free spirit and always was up for a prank or two..usually dragging a passive shankar along for the ride..but sudha being the eldest had always kept them inline..Vishali initially was annoyed by her interference but over the time as they grew they have gotten closer to each other and now vishali saw her as her sister too.
"So do u like Divakar??" Vishali asked
"well..."Sudha dragged
"gosh i asked u a simple question..and sudha its me..u can tell me.." Vishali said
" Well he is very nice.." sudha said
" That still does not answer the question.." Vishali insisted
"i think with time i will like him..amma and appa think he is a good match for me and his family seems very nice too..did shankar tell u she is gonna join your college this summer.." sudha trailed off
"Hey Sudha..i can see that your family is happy and this decision that you are taking is something that will affect your entire life..i just wanted to be sure that you are 100% convinced that this is the guy for you...after all from what i heard u guys have talked once on phone and u saw his photo and u have said yes.." vishali said seriously..
Sudha looked up at her..her eyes suddenly seemed brimming with tears
"vishali when u are gonna get married u will realise that it is not like in movies..where u absolutely fall in love with the person who u meet. the reality for us is different here ..iam almost 24 now and amma and appa have been searching for a groom for almost a year and they have been getting really worried too becos guys with the reliable jobs and good background are very difficult to find and even among those the guys have so much expectations as to what they want in the girl ..u know they want to know if she has done computer engg and all.. but more than the guys his family has more expectations...u would understand this when u go through the process.." sudha sighed looking at Vishali's expression
"Hey watever happened to u marry some one becos u like them ..." vishali quipped
" this guy is not that bad yaar..he talks to me well and is well settled in US ..so u know no mamiyar and nathanar thollai's ( mother-in-law and sister -in-law troubles)" sudha laughed trying to lighten the mood.
"that i have to agree is def a plus to marrying a guy in US no in-law quibbles " vishali smiled " i can see u r brother trying to listen to us through the window....hey wanna go and get some icecream" vishali asked
"ok" said sudha
"then u can fill me in on the details..." vishali said " shankar do u want to..."
"Always open to ice creams....."shankar pronounced
****************************************************************************************
"God why should i have signed up for that calculus course" vishali groaned to swapna
"well i did the same..cant believe it has been just three weeks since the college had reopened and we are already having an exam.." Swapna cribbed with her " well do u want to do a joint study tommorow night"
Vishali yawned " well do we have anyother option.. the exam is on monday ..so this weekend is shot.."
She saw shankar walking towards her..it had been three weeks since she saw him and he was smiling
Vishali smiled up at him “ coming over to gloat..” she asked
“About wat ..???” shankar asked
“well I have an exam on Monday in calculus and I know u told me not to take that course..yadda yadda.” Vishali said
“oh welli never say I told u so..” Shankar winked “ Hey choppu..”
Swapna grimaced “ iam not choppu ( plaything) my name is swapna..”
“Anyways came over to invite you girls to my sister’s Nichayathatham( engagement)..” shankar said
“Oh” both swapna and Vishali said
“Thanks for the invitation..” swapna said “ I have to go to library will catch u tonite ok..bye” and she left.
“things to seem to be happenening pretty fast for your sister I think..” vishali said hesitantly..
“well when everything seems to fit so well my parents seem to think there is no point in delaying things” shankar replied
“ hey sudha has not even seen the guy..” vishali protested
“they saw the photographs..and she is ok with him..wat is the problem in that” shankar said in a serious tone
“ well nothing..its just that I can marry some one I have not seen or known for a little while atleast..” Vishali said
“ may be you don’t have to ..” shankar said nonchalantly
“ and how do u know that..” vishali asked raising her eyebrow
“well lets just say madam I have a hunch..” he laughed
“whatever..” vishali replied
“ iam going to canteen for tea want to come”shankar asked
“ that is where I was thinking of going too..” vishali said
“Well see I do know everything..” shankar said and raised the collar of his shirt and ducked when vishali tried to hit him with her folder.

Mangalyam thantuna nena..( My second story ppl...:D)

2006-03-29T10:11:00.000-05:00

Vishali turned off the ignition and parked her Scooty on the patio of Shankar's house. The patio as usual smelled of jasmine flowers ..she lingered a bit longer taking in that sweet smell ..
"what took you so long???" Shankar asked pulling her out of trance.." i have been waiting for an hour for you to get here"
" sorry shankar got stuck at the gate in tambaram.." Vishali replied " so you sounded very excited on the phone...so wat is the big news.."
"Hello Vishali..eppadi ma irruke..( how are u )" that was shankar's patti (grandmother) " it has been long time since u came our place"
"Patti i was here last weekend only..." Vishali said with a mischevious smile " shankar told me u have made Theratti pal ( milk sweet) and karasev so here ami braving the summer heat and tambaram traffic "
Patti laughed " ulla vadi kannama..unnaku illatha theratipala ( come in darling...there is def sweet for you)"
Vishali hugged shankar's patti.."i wish my patti was like his.." she thought...
"let me go and get the sweets" patti said and went inside
She looked over at shankar and asked him " hey wat is the big news???"
" Sudha's marriage has been fixed." shankar beamed...
"congrats yaar.. where is she ..???" Vishali asked..
"she is on the phone talking to her finance.." shankar replied with a big grin on his face..
"Hello mami and mama ( Aunty and uncle)" vishali said to shankar's parents..
She liked his mom a lot too...
" did u hear the news vishali " shankar's amma asked
" yes mami..congrats on becoming mamiyar( mother in law)" vishali replied..
"thanks da kanna ( dear)" his amma replied..his dad smiled at her..he was busy talking to some one on cellphone.
"so tell me the details yaar" vishali asked
" well the guy is denver US and is a consultant..he has also applied for green card and is in the final stage and he wants to get married before he gets it..some funda that i did not understand" shankar gushed
"and..iam presuming there were reasons other than his Green card that made a suitable match for sudha.." vishali quipped
"His parents are from chennai only and his sister actually is gonna join our college this june in BSc maths..." he winked his eyes and Vishali sniffed "anyways he did his BE computer science in Anna university.."
"He was actually a state rank holder in the 12th Standard " shankar's father quipped in very proudly..
"appa let me finish" shankar whined and then turned to vishali and started saying briskly " anyways he finshed his MS inUS ..in UIUC..can u believe it...He told me he can help with my SOP.." Shankar said dreamily...
"hey that is nice shankar.." Vishali said...he always dreamed of doing PhD there ...Vishali thought
"So do you guys know his family well??" Vishali asked
" Well one of friends saw this guy's profile posted online and told us about them...we them contacted them...remember i told you they came to see sudha last week.."
" oh that was really fast.." Vishali thought " wat about sudha...is she interested.."
" Well Dumbo..after she said yes only we are proceeding.." Shankar replied..
Vishali saw Sudha walking on the terrace with phone in her hand..she seemed to be glowing..
She turned towards shankar and saw him grinning from ear to ear..
"wipe that stupid smile yaar.." Vishali teased him .." your sister is the one getting married not you.."
"well you know wat that means for me...not only will i be getting rid of my bossy sister..it also clears the line for me to get married.." shankar joked
"and who will marry a dumbo like you...i really pity that girl..." Vishali laughed " lets go and eat some sweets yaar..i feel hungry .." vishali said walked towards patti bringing the goodies ...

Something to share

2006-03-28T15:00:00.000-05:00

I was having some free time today and i felt like reading some blogs and without a second thought my fingers typed "sulekha.com" until my fingers hit enter i did not realise that in my subconcious i still remember sulekha..then i searched for some of the old blogs.( by old i mean blogs that were written roughly about an year ago..:D) and i came across all of Fizo_al's blog and it reminded me of the time when i used to refresh the Browser every 20 mins to see if she had posted the follow up's of the series "what lies beneath"..reading her work i always used to think if i can tell a story half good as hers..then i would quit my current quest and start writing books..hehehehehe...
i re read our Vi's "Vishal story" and i was again transferred to the land of romance .....in a way it reassured me that i will meet the guy who is right for me :)
I then read all of Das blogs "the college days" and "malli Poo" and i for few mins was transported back to my college days in good old chennai...
As i was going through all these old blogs in sulekha i also checked the new ones..somehow i was not able to connect to them like i did with the old ones..may be iam biased but the simple fact is the simple joy i felt while reading the old blogs i wanted to share with ppl here and suddenly it made me realise that i feel so close to the junta here even though i dont blog here that often these days and i dont check others blog ..i feel like i will be welcomed back no matter wat...
so just wanted to share that with u guys
a Very contended
jeenu

Missing...

2006-03-16T17:11:00.000-05:00

When i woke up today morning..i could not exactly remember where i was..it was not my room in chennai that much i realized and then i took me more than 2 mins more to realize that iam not in india..but in US..
that got me really depressed and no matter how much i tried to cheer myself up i kept remembering small small things about home and it got me in even more bad mood..and not to mention added to that fact one of my american lab mate kept cribbing to me that she has not seen her family in 3 months and how unfair it was.
I literally had to bite my tongue to keep from saying something sarcastic...also it seems that all the desi ppl in my university have decided to go home this time of year..becos everyone comes over to tell me how happy they are that they are gonna go home...and why i should go home too for a visit..
People it is not as if i dont want to go home..i do..i terribly miss getting up in morning listening to my amma humming bajans...i miss the warm complan that amma makes for me ( somehow no matter how much i try it just does not taste right here..), i miss picking up Indian express and seeing my dad had marked out some articles that i might find interesting...i miss walking along the paddy fields close to home thinking about inconsequential things...I miss talking to my dad about every small inconsequential thing that happened to me that day...
to sum it all up i miss being a kid..:(
just felt like ranting...now i feel a little better that i had written it down :)
jeenu

Jeenu says ..( Err not exactly sure what iam trying to say here..)

2006-02-07T16:45:00.000-05:00

This post is all about the thoughts that ran thro my head from 4-5pm on this really boring and long tuesday...
i wanted to write something today but iam not exactly sure what i wanted to write about..as i sit here thoughts swirl in my head..should i write about the song iam listening to right now on my MP3 player..nah.."So happy together" is not the right song to write about until u are hopelessly in love ..which iam not Duh...may be i should write about the fact that iam not in love...Hmmm well i dont want to start ranting about how guys are so dumb ( just kidding..iam just going on with the hope that there is some guy out there who is smart...hehehe)
Well before guys here start throwing sticks, stones and worse stuff at me..i think i better think of a safe neutral topic :D
so there i go again..a topic to write about..Hmmmmm
well my boss just passed by me and waved to me..may be i should write about him..lucky guy is gonna take a month off in april and is going on african safari with his wife..."sigh" while i slog over here in the lab...well not the right direction to think ...leaves me very bitter at the end of the day..as i 1. dont have a husband 2. i cant afford an african safari and finally dont have a husband who can afford the african safari....whew...time to change the topic definitely..it is odd how" love, husband " seems to creep in to my thought.....got to think of something else lest ppl think that is all i think about..hehehehehe
well there goes the flirty american girl in my lab..may be iam being too judgemental here..but then i dont think halter top in the freezing temperatures in the chemistry lab scream..serious chemist...Boy i am mean....
May be i need to get out of my desk and go and look around may be then i will get something interesting to write about.....or may be i can be lazy and just post this thing i have typed ...ppl actually might even think iam smart...hehehe..

Tagged by ROS

2006-02-02T15:30:00.000-05:00

Today i got couple of mins inbetween and decided to check wats up in blog spot and saw that ROS had tagged me with 8 qualities of a lover..long time ago ( long long ago so long ago..noone knew how long ago...i guess junta is getting the picture..hehehehe..) .. so here it goes...wat say folks " better late than never.." hena Rays..:)
so here is my list..
1. He should have a sense of humour..so that i dont have to Manofy/ patofy him after all the pranks i play on him :D
2. He should be a good listener..i think i dont have to explain this in detail as ppl here know i can talk...
3. He should be religious.
4. He should be well read..so that we can discuss different aspects of the book ..i think it is over good way to connect :)
5. He should definitely enjoy outdoors..i hate "couch potatoes"..( wat say ROS??????)
6. He should be definitely down to earth..i really hate ppl who put on airs...
7. He must like to dance...strange as it might be i have not met a single guy who likes to dance...:(..whenever iam happy i would love to just dance ..so i need a patner who can dance with me :D
8. The last but not the least..he should be absolutely love me for who i am and before ppl jump the guns..i am also willing to accept him on some terms for what he is..:)
Whew...that was so difficult..now iam sending this list to my mommy dearest..she has been bugging me for this list for quite some time..
so junta.. Iam backkkkkkkkkkkkk................
cheers
jeenu

Twenty things about me..(Dedicated to Gi..:D)

2005-12-22T13:53:00.000-05:00

Now that i have written the title of the blog..i dont know where to start..hmmmm
20. I was born under the water sign of scorpio and for some absurd reason i feel proud about the fact. :)
19. I love to work out and iam a regular at the university gym..being in a good shape(mentally as well as physically) is very important for me.
18. I love reading science fiction and fantasy books i sometimes imagine myself as a character in to one of those worlds and have a great time day dreaming..i have been known to zone out like quite often during seminars in our department ;)
17. I feel a sense of loss as if a good friend has left me when i complete a good book...
16. i like to sing and dance when iam in a good mood..my living room floor is a witness to that...
15. MY favourite movie right now is the green mile...
14. I was the only girl in my group who did not cry at the end of "titanic"..towards the end i actually rooted for the jack character to die soon..so i can go home..
13. The first time i heard the song " be with you" by enrique..i just fell in love with him ..
12. my favourite colours are black, pink and red..
11. i love to shop especially shoes and sandals...i have a small collection of them with me..
10. I was the captain of my school's Kho Kho team .
9. i love maniratnam movies..Anjali is my favourite..followed by "mouna ragam"
8. i got my first barbie doll when i was 8 and i still have her with me...
7. i love hiking, canoing and kayaking and do that whenever i have time .
6. the best concert i have attended was "euphoria" in IIT-Sarang 2001
5.I believe i can fly is my favourite song...
4. After comming to US tea has become my most fav beverage..( yes i come from a family of coffee drinkers but cant stand it myself).
3. The person who i look up to most is my dad..if i can do half of what he has done i would consider myself to be successful.
2. i can talk for a long time..my longest conservation on the phone was for 9hrs and 32 mins ( thanks to free PCS to PCS from sprint..i did not go bankrupt) and i have made many successful attempts to equal that record..:D
1.I firmly believe that" future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams"
now iam on a roll and dont want to stop..but Gi did say only 20 things about me...:D
cheers
jeenu

jeenu says...:)

2005-12-21T15:22:00.000-05:00

It has been a very hectic month so far for me...with couple of dead lines to meet and collaboraters always behind me to get stuff done yesterday...i hardly had time to do any of the stuff i enjoyed doing..like blogging to name one of the few..but starting today i hope things have settled down a bit and i can get to back to my normal schedule..hehehehe ( surfing and blogging for 12-14 hrs a day...)
so hopefully i will be back here with no stop blogging soon.....
cheers
jeenu

Nilay days- the end

2005-12-02T18:30:00.000-05:00

“ May be that is Nilay..” said Abhay and subha went to open the door and Raja was there at the door with a girl..subha vaguely recognized her as Sindhu…Nilay’s friend from undergrad days ..but she had not seen her around for almost an year..
“hey” said Subha hesitantly..
“can we come in” Sindhu asked her curtly…
Subha moved over and let them both in to the apartment.
“what the hell do u think you are doing..??” sindhu yelled at janvi as soon as she entered the room..
Janvi was so surprised by the outburst from this strange girl she had never met before…
“ hey sindhu ..calm down. will you..” raja said from behind her
“this is sindhu..Nilay’s girlfriend..” raja trailed off…
“ what..” Abhay said gawking at raja ” this time u have stepped way too far..raja”
“no it is not him who has stepped too far..it is this bitch here who has …for the last 10 months my life had been absolute misery because of her..” Sindhu exploded “ things were fine between me and nilay …even though I was not here in school..we were ok..but since the day we walked in..nilay has no time for me.. initially all he could talk to me was janvi this and janvi that and how much compatible he is with her…”
“hey mind your language sindhu” subha responded “ u have something to say ..dont use any profanity..”
“ I don’t understand..” janvi said in a small voice. A small part of her mind was thinking may be this was a prank Nilay was pulling on her..she remembered wat a prankster he is…and she looked up at subha to ask if she knew any of this…
Subha appeared as flabbergasted as her..abhay also had shocked expression on his face…
“ Nilay had not told of her to you has he.”.raja asked“ I did warn u girls to be careful with him..but u girls did not listen to me especially u janvi…I tried my best to keep him away from you..but u will not listen..”
“ hey ..this is none of your business..raja” Abhay said
“well I think sindhu deserved to know the truth and so does janvi..” raja said
“ is it because of your fight with nilay yesterday…u are making a big mistake..” abhay said angrily
“ Who are you..” janvi asked in a very commanding voice..
“let me explain…” raja started..but stopped when janvi stared at him with her cool..angry gaze..
“she is sindhu” subha replied quietly” she was nilay’s friend in undergrad..but she moved out of here after her graduation ..I met her in last year’s garba..before u met nilay…”
“oh” said janvi..remembering Nilay saying something about a good friend he had in undergrad days..”wat the hell is happening here..why did raja say she was nilay’s girl friend..?? is she really..??? “ questions flooded her mind..but janvi tried to maintain an outward calm….” Anger does not solve anything…” she told herself…
she looked at sindhu and asked “ what is your problem with me..???”
“ you are asking me wat is my problem with you..you are the problem…u just barged in between me and nilay …u are the problem and today I want to resolve the problem…everyone her seems to think that you guys are dating now..how dare you..acting like you are his girl friend..” sindhu lunged for janvi and raja caught her hands and controlled her
“ u promised me u will not do that..” raja said in a rough tone “ u said u will control yourself..”
janvi felt very faint..she could not believe wat is happening and part of her did not want to believe what she is hearing..Nilay has never talked about her at all..except mentioning in passing about his friends in undergrad years…but he had not exactly proposed to her either…they were good friends that is wat they told everyone…..but she knew in her heart atleast she considered him to be more than a good friend…she did not want to say it out..but she thought that he also felt the same for her….but now everything is lost everything is changed…
she always felt safe with nilay she trusted him…may be there is some explanation to this….nilay will explain this….thoughts were tumbling through her head at great speed..
she was not aware of wat was happening around her and then suddenly she felt her head snap back and a good deal of stinging on her cheeks..
she looked around dazed to see raja and abhay holding down sindhu and subha holding her..
sindhu had slapped her and that brought her back to the reality..”get out” janvi said in a calm voice” get out of my apartment you too raja and don’t u dare to step in to it again..”
“I think it is better if you leave” abhay said
He showed them both the door..sindhu was sobbing quietly on raja’s shoulder by then and they left the apartment
Janvi sat down hard on the couch as abhay came in to the living room…”hey are u all right..” he asked
Subha gave her a glass of water to drink..
“what is the meaning of this abhay..???” subha blurted out “ did u see the way that girl was behaving..iam sure nilay definitely would not have liked a girl like her…”
“ I don’t know…” Abhay said “ I think I will go and find nilay….and subha don’t open the door If u see that fool raja…”
“ ok…” said subha
“hey janvi..iam sure everything will be fine…don’t worry ok..i will be back with nilay..” Abhay said
“ J I don’t think nilay likes that girl..iam sure..” subha trailed…
“its ok..i think I need to talk to nilay..” janvi said
“ Abhay will get him..” subha said
“I think then I will be in my room for a while..” janvi said
“ ..ok..” subha said…she was wringing her hand not knowing wat to say…
Janvi walked in to her room and lay down on her bed…she the started sobbing.. even though the incident had shaken her..she somewhere deep felt that nilay will make it all right..and she went to sleep…

Someone was knocking on her room’s door..janvi woke up groggily and looked at her bedside clock. she has slept for almost 2 hours she realized and went to open her room’s door..
Abhay and subha were standing outside..
“nilay wont be coming today…” abhay said hesitantly
“why..???” janvi asked.
“ When I went to my apartment. I saw nilay and sindhu having a big fight rite in our lobby…it was mostly sindhu yelling with nilay hanging his head down…that girl has a temper ..grrr ..” Abhay grimaced
“oh” janvi said “ tell me abhay did u know…???”
“ No..i did not know..” abhay said
“I think I like to be alone..now”janvi said and closed her room’s door..
then she started crying..she had not cried that much in her life. she tried telling herself that he never said anything about them being more than friends..but still she felt betrayed...she felt alone..she felt her world falling apart…but she needed to hear it from him…a crazy part of her hoped that he will say it is all a lie…she needed to talk to nilay

She could not talk to nilay that day but the next day he called her and they met in the coffee shop….janvi felt more betrayed after their conversation…and she wanted to walk away from it all..
“Still here iam a week later still brooding about him …”janvi sighed
“It was all because of the stupid email.” She muttered but in her heart she knew whether he had sent that email or not she would have been thinking about him…
She wanted to reread the email again ..so she opened her laptop and logged in to her yahoo account…the account was so full of emails and forwards from Nilay…and ecards…
She opened his email and started reading it
“ hi Janvi
I have been trying to talk to you for last one week but u were not answering your calls..and I tried to come and meet you in person but subha told me you did want to meet me. I wanted to talk to you in person but I guess now I have to send u an email….
I would like to apologize to you in this letter but I also want to explain about things that have happened. You know me and how difficult it is for me to say sorry.. but believe me iam apologizing with all my heart here. I know what I did was very wrong but I did it because I thought I might lose you ..I guess in a way I have lost you now. I think you deserve an explanation
When I came here for undergraduate study from India, I never fitted in to any of the groups here, ABCD’s were not friendly to FOB’ s and most of the FOB’s here were grad students and they were not very friendly with an undergrad…that is how became friendly with sindhu even though she was an ABCD she did her schooling in India and then came over here for undergrad like me..i was alone and I guess she seemed perfect at that time..so when she proposed to me in the second year of undergrad..i said ok..
Her parents lived near the school and they were very conservative..they would not have accepted a north Indian as their son-in-law and so we both decided to keep it under wraps until we were in a financially stable position..
With time I became friends with people here and things started looking up..towards the end of my undergrad I started realizing the there were lot of differences between me and sindhu..she was an introvert and was very possessive of me..she could not even bear the thought of me talking to other girls..and finally after graduation she got a job and moved back in with her parents..but I stayed here to do my masters and things started getting worse between us because now she was not here in person and she wanted to make sure I was not being friendly with any girl…initially I was ok with the possessiveness. but slowly it started getting on my nerves and I started wondering if we are right for each other… she herself broke our agreement and told about me and her to raja and asked him to keep an eye on me..any sane person would have told her that they will not do such a things..but I don’t know wat compelled raja but he decided to help her as he puts it and started telling her everything I did…initially I was not aware of it but slowly as I got friendly with subha and then with you raja started telling her things..most of the times fabricated…in this process there was huge fight between me and sindhu..as I started getting to know you..i realized how compatible we are but I always kept a check on myself because there was sindhu..but more I became friendly with you more I realized how incompatible I was with sindhu…so about couple of weeks back I decided to break off with sindhu .
So I went to Nova last week and talked to her and explained to her my reasons for breaking up..i did not break up with her because of you janvi , I did it because I realized that we both were making each other so unhappy and that is not how anyone is supposed to live..
All hell broke loose after that Raja came to know about it and he started asking me questions. I got furious and threw him out of the apartment..his last words were that he will make sure that you would not even look at me..
So I guess he went and convinced sindhu that you convinced me to break up with her and the unfortunate incident happened..
You have every right to be angry at me..god If I was in you position I would have behaved the same way too..or even worse than that…
I should have told you everything ..initially I did not because I wanted to keep it a secret..but as time went by I did not want to say it because I was afraid to lose you..i just could not take that chance…
Iam sorry about it all..i lost your trust here and I will do anything to regain it back…
I know I have never said it out that I love you..but I know you that I do and I also know that you love me..
You always use to tell me that if you love someone set them free , if they love you then will come back to you..
So iam guilty of betraying your trust..and I know I don’t deserve it but all I need is one more chance to set it all right…but if you decide I don’t deserve it then I will respect you decision. It will break my heart ..but I will respect it. So the decision is yours janvi..and no matter what you decide I will always love you..
Yours
Nilay.”

“I know how difficult it must have been for Nilay to write this email…”janvi thought”..atleast now I know the whole truth of it all from him..he broke my trust in him..but more than that I feel like he did not trust me enough to tell me..he does not deserve to be in my life..i hope he is hurting as iam.. After it has all come out in the open he tell me about it..if only he had told me earlier about this ..may be things would have been different.. he does not deserve to be with me..”
But a part of janvi said “ he made a mistake and he is willing to admit it..should I leave him just because of that..i know he loves me and cares about me…is that not what is important..”
“I got slapped by a girl I did not even know..called all sorts names by her..all because he of him and that raja too….” an angry voice hissed in janvi’s head..
“don’t we all make mistakes..u have your share of mistakes too …may be u might regret breaking up with him…on how many occasions have you yourself thought of him as u r soul mate…even though u thought that there was no one like that..” a voice in her head laughed at that..
“god life is so unfair..” janvi thought..” why cant I just leave all of this and walk away…in TV seriels..people seem to be able to do that and be happy about it too..”
“ am I letting my injured ego decide for me…” thoughts tumbled through her head .
“I do love him…” janvi whispered
A tear trickled down her cheeks and she closed her eyes thinking about the first time she met nilay…...

***********************************************************************

Nilay days-5

2005-12-01T13:13:00.000-05:00

Janvi smiled to herself as she sipped her chai..Thinking about the first time they went to downtown together always made her smile. As Nilay had said they became great friends. janvi smiled as memories of different things that they did together flashed in her mind..hiking, canoeing, playing badminton.. and now she has to decide...tears started trickling down janvi's eyes ..she wiped them away defiantly and thought to herself " i seem to be crying a lot these days..i cant even believe iam crying sitting in the coffee shop...wat is wrong with me.."
Anger seemed to resurface in her as she ground her teeth and said to herself" no one who will make you cry is worth it.." but again she started thinking” but wat about the person who made u smile...wat about all the good times u had with them..dont they amount to anything.?"
The memory of her dancing with nilay for the india day program came to her mind..with it all the fun they had together putting the dance together also floated in to her mind .....
"did he really care about me..??" the question popped in her mind suddenly and as soon as it did, memories of nilay cooking kitchadi for her when she was sick came in to mind..of him walking in cold for 20 mins to get her medicine , of him just pampering her like a baby when she had fever...of how he met even some of her unreasonable demands...came to her mind.."yes he cared for me.. why am i talking in past tense..i know he cares about me even now..." janvi said to herself.
"God why is life so full of difficult choices...."
"well i dont know dearie..but i can def give u a refill on your chai.." Gail said..janvi jumped as gail started talking she had not realized that she had said the last sentence aloud...
"thanks...appreciate that" janvi tried to smile ..but the cheerfulness she usually exuded was not there today.
"are u feeling well ???" gail asked" never seen u this quiet or alone for that matter.. your friend not joining you today??"
Times she and Nilay had spent talking in the same coffee shop flooded her mind..
"no ...he is busy..i think" janvi replied….
"ok girlie...let me get u another cup of chai.." gail replied
"thanks..gail"
Janvi thought about the last time they met at the coffee shop....

"hey" Nilay said..he looked like he had not slept for days and he had a week’s worth of stubble on his face
"hey" janvi replied..waiting for him say more..she was all composed outside but inside a war was raging inside. a part of her wanted to just let go of all this facade and cry to him..ask him to explain all that stuff that had happened...but a part of her wanted to tear him apart and hurt him as much as he had hurt her..
"how are you..?'' nilay asked
"wat do u think..after all that has happened..wat do u expect me to say..." janvi replied..it came out so coldly....i need to be calm..i need for him to explain it to me...i need to give him a fair chance to explain himself..she told herself.
"wat is happening Nilay..is that all true??..i thought we were good friends....." janvi trailed off
" we are good friends..more than good friends......." nilay said" i did not want any of this to happen...i did not mean it to happen.. u mean a lot to me...iam sorry.."
"where does this leave us..." janvi asked him..she was feeling so numb..
"i dont know....i dont want to lose you..." nilay whispered..
"i guess then the decision is in my hands..then..." janvi said " u have to tell me..is it all true..watever she and raja said???"
"yes...but believe me i did not want to hurt you..u have to understand that...i never wanted to hurt you..and i did not want to lose you either....i know i should have been the one to tell you" Nilay could not bear to look at janvi
Tears trickled down janvi's eyes.." then i guess ..there is nothing left to say anymore....i have to go now...bye" janvi got up and left...

"It has been almost a week since that day" janvi thought sipping from her fresh cup of chai..." we were so happy together...why did things have to change now...i know he cares.."
Her mind turned to the day when things changed...

She and subha were sitting in her apartment watching "finding Nemo" it was their favorite movie ..
"i just love Dory's character.." subha giggled..
"i just adore this whole concept.." janvi also smiled with her " may be coming Halloween u can dress as dory the fish...."
Subha sticked out her tongue and said " Fat chance.."
There was knock on the door and subha jumped up " that must be Abhay..i told him i was watching " finding nemo" and he said he wanted to watch too....so i invited him is that ok..."
"its ok yaar..anyways he is after all my extended roomie.." janvi smiled mischeviously...
Subha Blushed and went to open the door and let abhay in
" hey extended roomie.." said janvi
Subha made a face from behind abhay's back
"hey J" abhay said " thought Nilay janaab will be here...now iam all alone..."
"well we dont eat guys.." janvi replied " especially ones who wears glasses. bad for our health.." and both the girls burst out giggling..
Abhay rolled his eyes and flopped on the couch.
" so wat do u girls have for snack.." abhay asked
" well we just finished chips and salsa...." subha replied " but we have some salted peanuts..do u want some.."
"okie" abhay visibly perked up ...
" so have you girls seen raja.." abhay asked
"wat do u think.." janvi replied
" i know you girls can’t tolerate that guy and sometimes i can’t too..anyways yesterday there was a big fight between raja and nilay and we have not seen that guy since then…. " Abhay said
" wat" both subha and janvi said simultaneously..
" yeah..i dont know wat was that about but i have never seen Nilay this furious... he just threw Raja out of our apartment and in choicest words told him to stay out of his personal life..." Abhay said
" well it is about time" said subha.." did u know that guy came over to our place once and was staying stuff like U girls should be careful of nilay.."
" Nilay did not tell me anything about the fight..." janvi mused to herself…
Right then there was a knock on their apartment door ......

Nilay days-4

2005-11-19T16:43:00.000-05:00

Walking along the streets of downtown always made Janvi very happy. The west main road that forms the crux of the downtown is a broad cobbled street with shops and restaurants on either side .The road was closed to the traffic and the middle of the walk way had hawkers selling stuff from Nepal to Mexico. Janvi and Subha started looking in at some nice earrings that a hawker from Nepal was displaying. Subha was so taken by it and was haggling with the hawker to lower the price.
“So you come to downtown often??” Nilay asked janvi
“Huh..oh ..well once in a while ..people in my lab like to eat pizzas at Christian’s pizza..so I come whenever we all come here..” janvi replied “ what about you.??”
“ I come here once in a while too…with friends ..but sometimes I just like walk along the street..u know just look at the shops and people it makes me happy…”
Janvi looked at him and smiled “I do that too sometimes..in summer only ofcourse..So which department are u in nilay.???”
“ Computer science..and before u think iam one of those ppl..let me tell u iam interested in lot of other things too..i was a premed student in my undergrad days here..but when I declared my major I decided to go where I saw the money was…it was then..” he laughed.
“I did not say anything at all..do u feel the need to justify what you do..??” janvi asked
“not to everyone..” nilay said “with you I feel very much that you are watching my every move like a hawk and also judging me based on that…” he trailed it off…
“sorry did not mean too..i guess it is my inborn scorpion trait..”
“ iam a scorpion too..” nilay said “ when is your birthday..that is if u don’t mind telling me..i don’t need to know the year too..”
“November 19th “ janvi said “ now its only fair that you tell me yours..”
“November 18th..can u believe it..it is so much of a coincidence..” nilay said
“ wat coincidence are you two talking about???” subha asked when she joined them both.
“well me and janvi are born in the November and are just a day apart..” nilay announced.
“Hmmm..interesting..so u are elder to her hena…??” Subha asked..
she is definitely up to some mischief janvi thought and before nilay could say something his cell phone rang..nilay excused himself and went a little distance away to pick up the call.
Subha turned to janvi and asked her “ so madam u both are born in the same month..interesting..”
“wat is so interesting about that ma’am ..iam sure there are many people who are born in and around my birthday.” janvi replied
“bummer..” subha replied
Nilay joined them and all three of them started walking to the open air theatre where the fancy dress party is held.
“so wat are u r interests janvi??” nilay asked
“well it all depends on my mood..” janvi replied
“oh she has a huge collection of novels ..and she is so much in to all this science fiction stuff..” subha quipped in
“and wat about you subha??” Nilay asked
“ well as I have already told u iam not in to those things..” subha replied
“hey is that abhay..” subha asked and before either of them could reply Subha called out to Abhay.
Abhay saw subha and waved back to her..” subha will forget that we both exist “ nilay quipped “ Now that Abhay is here” and batted his eyelids. looking at him janvi giggled.
Subha scowled at him..
“ Nilay you did are not tell us that you are coming to downtown” raja said..as he clapped nilay’s back.
“bas aise hi aagaya..” Nilay mumbled.
“hey janvi..” Abhay said
“hey Abhay”
“let me introduce you to these guys they are staying in the same building as me..” said abhay
“this is raja” he said pointing to a slender guy with a moustache who was talking to nilay “this is Anil..” referring to a guy who was overweight “both of them are in computer science department”
“ nice to meet you both “janvi said politely..
“well there is no need to introduce you..they all know about you becos subha always has something to say about you..” said abhay
“all nice things I hope..” janvi smiled.
“ So wat were you people planning on doing in downtown??” raja asked
“we came to see people’s constumes..”subha replied enthusiastically..
“well we were about to leave “ said abhay
“I would like to see costumes..” raja replied “ if subha and janvi don’t mind me tagging along with them “
“ok…then let me and anil bid you people ..Bye” said abhay
nilay who had been quiet so far said “ hey do u guys want to join us for dinner ..may be later say after another hour or so..we can meet at that new mexican place they have opened in the corner..also If the girls don’t mind joining us too..”
“sounds ok to us “ said Abhay and Anil nodded
“well iam sure I will be hungry by then” said subha “if Janvi will come then I will also join” she said “ chalo na janvi..it will be nice to eat out today..”
“ok” said janvi
“so Mexican ok with all “ asked nilay
“yes so far I think..” said Abhay “ see you people in an hour or so ..at baja beans..bye”
Abhay and anil walked off to the trolley bus stop.
Raja turned to nilay and said “ well u need not have invited those two..they are just trouble makers..”
“well they don’t make any trouble raja..they just like to play pranks..thats all “ said nilay “anyways u need to stand up for urself sometimes …but lets not talk about this now..ok”
“ok..” raja trailed
Both Subha and Janvi did not want to intrude on the conversation so they walked a little farther away..
“hey u girls iam sure raja does not carry any plague..inspite of his appearance he is nice a guy..u girls can come closer..” nilay joked.
“well how do we know that ..Huh??” Subha asked mock seriously..
“well subha u know me …I don’t eat girls..” said raja “ by the way I have “main hoon na” burnt in a CD for you”
“oh great..SRK is so such a cute guy he is my favourite actor and such a good one too…don’t u agree janvi “ subha squealed.
“I guess it depends..” replied janvi non commitally” I don’t have any favourites..i just go by the performances in the movies”
“ same here..and may I say it is good to meet a girl who finally does not swoon at the name of SRK..most of my good friends in opposite sex do..”replied Nilay
“well I like SRK a lot too..” said raja.
“great I have someone who is on my side..heheheh” laughed subha
“ so wat kinda movies do u watch nilay??” janvi asked
“well I think it depends on the company of people I watch the movie with “ replied Nilay
“hey there is an ice cream shop..” subha pointed out” want to eat a small scoop before we go down to the costume party.”
“sure..wat about u janvi??”
“iam up for icecream anytime..”janvi replied
“me too “said raja and smiled
They went in to the shop
“can I have vanilla icecream with strawberry on top please” janvi ordered at the counter
“make that two..” said Nilay..”so we share the same taste in icecreams too”
“ I guess we do..” replied janvi and when she turned around to find a seat she saw raja looking at her very peculiarly.
Janvi shrugged that off and then took a corner booth and pretty soon subha and the guys joined her there.
“ I was just telling raja how much you liked reading books…” said Subha
“yeah..what kind of books you read..” raja asked
“this and that..”janvi replied “ depends on what catches my fancy at that time..right now iam reading this fantasy series called “ the wheel of time” by robber Jordan” she said
“ now that is very interesting “ replied raja “ nilay is also reading that series..”
“is it so..?” janvi asked..
“yeah..” nilay said “ we have a lot in common. I think we are gonna be great friends..”
Something made janvi look at raja at that moment and he did not seem to be happy...not happy at all.

Nilay days-3

2005-11-17T20:00:00.000-05:00

“So what do u think of Abhay??” Subha asked Janvi as they were cleaning the dining table. Abhay had just left, the tea party had lasted for more than 2 hours
“ he seems to be a nice guy” janvi said and looked up at subha
“wat do u think of him “
Subha said “he is very charming and he is very smart..”
“oh I see” Janvi smiled mischievously “ may be I need to call someone’s parents in madras and let them know that their daughter has found a right guy” Subha blushed “there is nothing like that and I met him only three months back “
“So may be couple of more months and then u will know for sure hena??” janvi asked with mock seriousness and both the girls started laughing.
“His roommate Nilay is also a great guy. He has been in US for more than 10 years now..” subha said
“ oh I see “ janvi replied
“yet he has retained his core Indian culture values and beliefs..he does not drink or smoke and he is very religious too. He is part of the Hindu students association here “ subha said.
“well not drinking and smoking does not mean that he is all Indian values” janvi replied
“I have seen some of the desi guys here, they act all goody goody in front of girls just to impress them but reality is something else..But that does not mean Nilay is also like that” janvi said “ anyways I don’t know him so I can’t say anything about him..But being cautious is not gonna hurt anyone right??”
“yeah. But after talking to Nilay I don’t think he is like that” subha said earnestly.
Janvi placed the tea cups in the cupboard and turned around and asked“hey tomorrow is Halloween there is this kid’s costume party in the lawn in the evening want to go ??” “sure” said Subha.

“Madam you are late and now we are late for the party at the lawn “ subha sounded upset
“sorry yaar advisor wanted to have an update on experiments and u know how he is ..Once he starts he does not stop..Anyways if we hurry up we can catch the costume party in downtown”
“Ok” subha brightened up visibly
“let me just freshen up ok “ janvi said and as janvi was getting ready subha kept on chatting about how she saw some people dressed in costumes all day
“ ..and there was this guy in my department who was dressed as tomato and it was so funny…may be we can dress up in some costume too..”
“well madam I think it is too late..anyways I think u look cute in these gray jeans “janvi said smilingly.
”u know I met abhay today and he told me that tumhari roommate mast cheez hai yaar” and subha started giggling
“that proves one thing” janvi said “he is a pucca flirt ..anyways madam lets get moving..” “ so how are we going to the downtown??” subha asked.
”we can take the trolley to downtown..”janvi said
“hey J is it ok if we ask Nilay to come along with us ..??” subha asked .
.”well may be he has other plans u know subha..??”
“ I know he does not when I was waiting for you to come I was talking to him ..”
“Ok ..u can call and ask him if he wants to join us ..” janvi said..
subha started dialing Nilay’s number and then she hung up.
.”wat happened ??” Janvi asked.
“well u know Nilay he is always pulling my leg and playing a prank on me all the time..now I think I want to play one on him” subha said “ well what do u want to do ?” janvi asked.
” well if u don’t mind can u talk to him he does not know your voice..u can tell him that you are a very old friend of his and that u are in town ..and then proceed from there on….go with the flow sister..hehehehe” subha was so excited that she was talking really fast..
“whoa. madam slow down ..first of all I don’t know him that well wat if he gets serious and also..i don’t know him well enough to play a prank on him..” janvi said..” “please..please for me yaar..he has been putting one over me for a long time..please only one time and if he starts getting serious u can hang up and he will never know who called ..” subha started pleading janvi.
“ok but if he gets mad u are gonna talk to him and explain it to him..is that a deal??” janvi asked
“anything you say may dear roomie..” subha jumped and hugged janvi and then started dialing nilay’s number..when the phone started ringing ..she handed the phone over to janvi
“hello”
“hi can I talk to Nilay???”
“ this is Nilay”
“ hey Nilay how are u yaar??? Long time yaar really long time..how are u ?? how is life?? Pehachana muje??” subha was giggling so badly in that janvi had to sush her.
“..I am..fine..sorry I don’t recognize you..”
“well now this is bad..after all the allo paratha u ate at our place..i cant believe that u cant remember me…Hmm…this is bad and here I was excited to meet u ..this is bad..really bad..i feel so bad now..” janvi sounded a little upset..all the while subha was grinning so badly that she looked like an ad for close up tooth paste..
“hey are u sanju’s sister neha…” nilay said hesistatingly
“well u should be more than sorry..after all the things that we have been through …anyways if I was a pretty girl iam sure u would have remembered me..so typical like a guy ..paying attention only to pretty girls..”
“ it is nothing like that…” nilay sounded so confused and also apologetic…” can u now please tell me who you are..”
“look at the tone u are talking to me in…I really cant believe that I thought u will remember me..” janvi sniffled a bit..
“hey iam really sorry..” nilay said in a low voice..
Subha then started laughing hysterically and immediately nilay picked it on the phone” well if it is not Ms Subha trying to play a prank on me..”
Subha got the phone and said “ well tit for tat I got you this time..hehehehe..”
“ no u did not I knew all along it was you..” nilay said
“well it was not me but my roommate janvi that u were talking to.” Subha said
“ Oh I see.” Nilay sounded surprised.
“anyways me and J are thinking of going to downtown wanna come with us to see the costume party there..???”
“oh ..well I don’t want to be kabab main haddi between 2 roomies down time “ nilay said
“hey it is ok ..we will definitely appreciate your company..wont we janvi” subha said thrusting the phone in janvi’s hand.
“hey” janvi said “ sorry about that stuff I said earlier..it was all subha’s idea..”
“ No way I just gave the initial suggestion then she took it all the way “ subha quipped in
“yeah it will be nice if u can join us ..but if u have other plans then it is ok..” janvi said
“well if it no problem to you girls then I will definitely join “ nilay replied enthusiastically..
“ ok see u soon . bye..here subha wants to talk to you “ said janvi
“okie Nilay ji kripaya please come here on time atleast this once..ok” subha giggled
“well iam always on time..” nilay said indignantly
“remember the lunch plan the other day..when me and abhay said take your time to get to amigo’s we meant 15-20 mins not an whole hour..” subha said
“well it was you guys fault..never mentioned anytime limits..” nilay said
“well dumbo get here in another 20 mins ok ..” subha said
“well takes one to know one..hehehe..chalo see u girls in 15 mins..bye”

Nilay days-2

2005-11-17T08:30:00.000-05:00

“Hey Subha wait up” Subha turned around and saw abhay and raja walking towards her. She stopped and smiled at them “Watcha doing??” Raja asked her.. Abhay guffawed “look at this guy he has been in USA for just three months and his vocabulary is all changed. Raja remember the small place in India that u came from called Hyderabad” Subha laughed along with Abhay. Raja looked indignant but before he could retort Subha said “Just finished the thermo class yaar and iam heading home” “So when are u gonna invite me to your place??” Abhay asked her. Subha smiled “ you are welcome to come now “. As they were walking to subha’s offcampus apartment Raja said “ can u guys believe it three months have been passed since we joined UVA and left India” abhay quipped “ and someone already talks with amru accent” Subha giggled and Raja turned red and said “ u are irritating me abhay , I really miss home and u are poking fun at everything I say and do ..” “hey sorry yaar.. now don’t go and get senti on me ok ..i was just lightening up the situation.” Abhay said trying hard to control his laughter. Raja still looked irritated and said “ hey guys iam gonna go and see wat Nilay is up to..ok..bye” Abhay could not hide his laughter any longer and burst out laughing..subha looked puzzled and Raja looked like he is gonna have an apoplexy. he just turned and went to the computer science department without even looking back..
“so wat was that all about??” Subha asked him and Abhay who was still laughing said “Raja seems to have become Nilay’s shadow these days. that guy is basically stalking him. he is like Nilay’s GF…hehehehe…..the other day Nilay was busy so he did not come to potluck we guys had at our place.. and raja called him like 20 times on the cell to ask him where he was and that he should come. he told nilay that he will not eat dinner till nilay comes…bechara Nilay is trying so hard not to offend the guy and so he is putting up with him …dunno when that is gonna change..”
“that is so weird yaar..Even his Girl friend if he had one will not call him that much..hey janvi is also walking home I think..” “is that your roommate..” abhay asked.”yeah” well wat are u waiting for ..Introduce me to her yaar..and when u do say some really nice things about me .” Abhay said adjusting his hair.
“No matter how much nice things I say about u..one look at you and she will know what a duffer you are…..hey Janvi wait up yaar..” Subha called out.
Janvi turned around and saw Subha with a tall guy in glasses with beard and thought “ who is this devdas with her….so many desi students this year” Subha and Abhay caught up with her by then and subha introduced them “ hey J this is Abhay Mittal and he is in material science dept and this is my roommate Janvi she is in biomedical engg” “hey nice to meet you” “ Nice to meet you too janvi..that is an interesting name..so which part of India are u from..”abhay asked “ iam from banglore and you “ Abhay laughed and said “ Right now my parents are in Bombay but our native place is in UP “ “ oh I have never been to anywhere in northern part of India” janvi said ”geographically speaking Bombay or Mumbai whichever one pleases u is not in north India” abhay laughed “ well it is to for a person from banglore..”janvi quipped and smiled.”u have a very nice smile.” Abhay said “and are very smart too..” all three of them laughed and by then they had reached the apartment..” So abhay where are u staying??” “Oh i live in bedford apartments with 2 other guys..u must have met Nilay he is one of my roommates “ “ oh” janvi said “that’s nice” “so how do u like the school so far??” “It is nice and since Nilay did his bachelors also from UVA he knows a lot about this place..so in his grace we survive..” Abhay bowed dramatically. Subha giggled and janvi smiled…

Nilay days ( having a title block..hehehe..any suggestions Junta)

2005-11-16T10:52:00.000-05:00

Hey junta here is my attempt at writing some stories..i took a lot of inspiration from things that happened to ppl i know here..so here it goes..
cheers
jeenu

Janvi started thinking about the first time she met Nilay. It was through Subha her roommate. Subha had joined the Graduate program at UVA that fall and Nilay was her mentor. She can still remember to the exact detail how it happened..It was in the evening Janvi was lying down on her couch with the quilt over her. She realised she had the seasonal flu and was cursing herself for not taking the Flu shot..when there was knock on the door. Janvi was not expecting anyone so she was wondering who it was and she went to open the door and Subha bustled in "hey sorry i forgot to take my keys with me " janvi sighed well Subha always seems to lose the key ya forget to take it ..anyways that was when she noticed this desi guy still standing outside the apartment holding the door and janvi got annoyed she was wearing her sick jammies and she was not dressed to meet company..Subha did not seem to notice her discomfort and annoyance and said "hey J this is nilay , he is my mentor" janvi mumbled a Hi and then started walking to her room..when He asked her " hey are u a new student too ??" Janvi was not in any mood to talk so she said " No" and walked in to her and closed the door.
"hey Nilay do come in to the house yaar..let me make u some chai" and Subha walked in to the kitchen "never said no to free chai..thanks" Nilay walked in to the living room and started looking around..and he whistled "nice pad yaar"Subha beamed and then said " its all janvi's..she had been here for an year u know"
Nilay "no way..i know almost of all the desis in this place and i have never seen her around.." " so who did she room in with last year..""Divya..i think from comp science..she graduated this fall.."
"oh i know her.." Subha looked at him and asked " so Mr know all the desis here..how did u miss knowing my roomie then..Huh..??" Nilay laughed " may be becos she is so kadoos "..Subha giggled but then said in a sober tone " she is not all that bad..just anal about things.."
Nilay then walked up to DVD's lying on tea table and whistled and said " If i were u i will lock my room at night before i sleep.." Subha looked at him seriously and asked "why??"..well look at her DVD collection he showed her " the hannibal " and "blair witch -2" " i dont think these are urs??"
Subha replied earnestly " well iam not in to these hollywood flicks.." Nilay laughed and said " seems like u r roommate is and u know wat they say people who watch violent movies will soon develope a taste for violence themselves..."
" Nilay u are now making me nervous yaar.." Subha whined..Nilay then laughed and said " silly i was just teasing u..anyways do u wanna go and watch a movie..i promise u it is not violent.. Abhay will be there..."
"well what do i care if abhay was there or not. ..and if u keep teasing me like this tea is gonna be on ur head and not on the cup..."
"bapp re aaj kal ki ladikiyan itne violent kyun hai..??? ok ma'am i will not tease u anymore for the day ok.." Nilay smiled .

In the end....

2005-11-15T19:05:00.000-05:00

It has been such hectic week and half for me in terms of work ..i barely had time to check and comment in junta's blogs..:)
so here i decided to post one of my favourite song that i usually listen to when a week of research work goes down the drain and strangely listening to this song actually puts me in good mood :D
so here it is ppl

In the End
-Linkin Park

It starts with one thing
I don't know why It doesn't even matter how hard you try
keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on,
but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried,
it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end It doesn't even matter
I had to fall To lose it all
But in the end It doesn't even matter
One thing, I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try,
keep that in mind I designed this rhyme,
to explain in due time I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me (in the end)
You kept everything inside and even though I tried,
it all fell apart What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time
when I (Chorus)
I’ve put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
And for all this
There's only one thing you should know (2x) (Chorus)

Flirting ..???

2005-11-07T12:58:00.000-05:00

Today started as any other monday for me..u know feeling the hangover from the weekend ( before u all jump to any conclusion..when i said hangover i meant from excessive sleeping:D)and i dragged myself to lab today morning and as i was getting ready to do somework that might get me Noble prize one day ( mostly have to work so they dont kick me out of the lab) my cowrker in the lab starts his usual thing ..now this french dude here in my lab is a charmer and is always flirting with every single female in the lab and the fact that he is married and has a cute baby girl does not stop him ..most of the times it is pretty harmless like.."hey sweetie..did not feel like working yesterday as u were not here in the lab..and now that u are here..i dont feel like working either.." "wink"
But sometimes it can really get on my nerves like "so how many times did u have sex this weekend??" and stuff like that...and when i ask him to stop he usually says hey its all in fun....
so it got me thinking..wat exactly is flirting??? where is the boundary for tht???can ppl flirt and still be friends??
do we flirt becos we want to express our interest in the other person and gauge their reaction in a subtle way???
can flirting be harmful for ones health ??;)
Hmmmm..
heavy stuff for monday morning i guess
cheers
jeenu

So like my dad :D

2005-11-02T15:55:00.000-05:00

I was talking to my mama( a very distant relation of ours iam not even sure how he is related but for convenience sake i call him mama..makes him happy and i dont have to rack my brain to figure out how he is related...:D) yesterday to wish him on diwali and his mom has come to visit him and since me being a very nice girl wanted to talk to patti ( grandma) and i talked to her for about 15 mins and after which she exclaimed that u are so like jambu( my dad)..at that moment i dont know for some reason i felt so happy that someone thought i was like my dad..:)
My dad has always been a source of inspiration for me since i was a kid ..i know we all must have had " my dad is the greatest in the world " feeling when we were kids..but i still feel like that even now...he is a very hard working, diligent and pretty smart in wat he did....there were times when i was growing up i will ask him something and if he knew wat it was he will always explain it to me in a way i understand and if he did not know that he told me he will look it up and he always found an answer for me ...i remember the time when he woke me up at 3 in the morning to show me jupiter that was visible in the night sky i must have been about 10 years at that time ...... as i was standing in our back yard that october morning as dad went on talking about jupiter and how it is the biggest planet in the solar system and all its moons ...i felt so lucky to have him in my life..that feeling is so fresh in my mind..it was a very magical moment for me..after that we both had a glass of bournvita and we were talking about stars and space crafts and aliens...it was so perfect..
He was the one who taught me how to play badmiton and in summers always used to play a game with me in the evenings..at night we used to go for walks after dinner (i think we used to do that since i was about 10 years to till the last night i was in india) and he will talk to me about his youth ..ya tell me about things that happened that day at his work and i will talk to him about my things..sometimes we talk about religion, philisophy,politics..but i loved talking to him about science..as i grew up and went to college our discussions were sometimes my monologue on research and experiments and he used to tell me iam talking about stuff that he cant understand but still i will keep rambling on and on becos it felt good....i still do that whenever i call india...
He is not without faults..but he has been a good dad and a greats friend to me..so when someone told me that i was like him ..i felt like i have the noble prize bestowed to me :)
cheers
jeenu

I believe i can fly...

2005-11-01T16:18:00.000-05:00

I was listening to this song by R.Kelly today after a long time , as i was listening to the song i realised how meaningul the lyrics were..it almost sounded to me like it is celebrating all the beautiful things in life and above all the power of regeneration of an induvidual.. and i knew definitely have to share it with the junta here. the song always gives me an image of Phoenix rising majestically rising from ashes..:D
so here it goes..:)

I believe i can fly

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I'm leaning on the everlasting arms

If I can see it, then I can do it
if I just believe it, there's nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly

See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence, it can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me

If I can see it, then I can do it
if I just believe it, there's nothing to it
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly.........

cheers
jeenu

It is Diwali :)

2005-11-01T09:13:00.000-05:00

i woke up pretty excited today morning becos it is diwali..as i got i started thinking about all the things that has happened since last diwali and i realized there are so many things that i have to be thankful about..well for starters same time last year was not a a very nice time for me ..it was a very emotionally taxing time and sometimes i used to feel like i will never get out of that quagmire..but now here iam all happy and excited...it almost seems like watever happened last year was just a nightmare .....i got to be with my parents after an year, may be the best thing tht happened to me this year.. ( when u get garam garam home cooked meal for both lunch and dinner..it is heaven :D )..Professionally things are working out..moving a little slower than wat i would like but still moving.. i have some good friends in my life...come to think of it..life could not be better..
i have my share of troubles and issues but today morning as i was getting ready to go to work i realized that i have been blessed in every sense i have a loving family with friends who care about me and support me through my whims and fancies :D ..all my basic needs are taken care of ( food, shelter..) there are so many people who dont even have those basic things in life..so this Diwali..iam thankful for all the good things that god has blessed me with :)
happy diwali to everyone :D
cheers
jeenu

Seems like yesterday :D

2005-10-28T11:21:00.000-04:00

Can't believe that an year has passed by...it just seems like yesterday ..i remember my excitement when i feasted my eyes on it...that instant i decided it has to be mine...i spent days patiently waiting to make my move and exactly the same day last year at 5.30Am much to my delight i discovered that inspiron 700m was at 50% off and i ordered it ..:D
sleek, slim and most important of all only 4 pounds so i can carry it whereever i want to go...Hmmm it was like a match made in heaven -a perfect laptop well within a grad students pay..wat more can i say other than i really love my cutie pie laptop :)
cheers
jeenu

Innocent years..:)

2005-10-27T16:51:00.000-04:00

In any grad students life there are days when we weep for the fact that there are only 24 hrs becos the amount of work that u have to do just could not completed in that time and still u are expected to..( iam sure it is much more hectic in work place..but since i have never been anywhere near there..ppl need to humour me here :D) and days which come at the other end of the spectrum where the damn clock will not move at all ...well today for me was one of the latter days...i came in with all the work i have to accomplish..and the mass spec broke down and along with it all my work plans for the day..i was forced to "chill" today which i did..sending emails to ppl, chatting with friends , reading literatures..and all that jazz and still the time will not run...it almost seems like it has come to an stand still and since i cant leave my lab before 5 Pm- mandatory attendance here folks..clocking 9am-5pm is essential...but my work should not be limited to that time but designed around my experiments for the day..in my budda's memorable words..as a grad student u r expected to work a minmum of 60 hours a week....the stress being on the word "minimum"......anyways here i go digressing...So basically being jobless and chatting with our own ROS brought some funny chilhood incidents to my memory ..
one such incident happened when i was in 10 the standard i think ..may be in 9 the standard..i loved to read books and my cousin decided that iam grownup enough to read one of sidney sheldon books..if i remember correctly.."if tomorrow comes " was the book....to be honest after reading nancy drew and hardy boys ..that book was racy for me and some of concepts just went way over head..( but i guess my cousin wanted to educate me ..hehehehehe)...anyways i came across this word "virgin" i did not know what it meant at that time ..usually when i dont understand something ya something is bothering me i usually talk/ask my dad about it...So i went up and asked my dad "wat does a virgin mean??"
well i come from a very conservative south indian Brahmin family..and i could tell even at that time my dad was shocked..but he managed to say that any unmarried woman is called a virgin..and i was pretty satisfied with that explanation for a long time..:)
As i said the person i narrated this incident today thought it was funny and that i should blog about it..So here is one to days of innocence... :D

To all the fellow scorpions...

2005-10-26T12:17:00.000-04:00

It is that time of the year when the zodiac sign scorpio is at the helm....so i decided to copy and paste some interesting facts that i found about this zodiac sign..:)
Even though i believe we make our own destiny..some of the traits commonly associated with a zodiac sign makes sense to me..as i can see some of them in me ( only the good ones..hehehehehe..)
cheers
jeenu
SCORPIO

TraditionalScorpio Traits

Determined and forceful
Emotional and intuitive
Powerful and passionate
Exciting and magnetic

On the dark side....

Jealous and resentful
Compulsive and obsessive
Secretive and obstinate

Scorpio is the eighth Sign of the Zodiac, and you shouldn't take that lightly. You shouldn't take Scorpios lightly, either. Those born under this Sign are dead serious in their mission to learn about others. There's no fluff or chatter for Scorpios, either: these folks will zero in on the essential questions, gleaning the secrets that lie within. Scorpios concern themselves with beginnings and endings, and are unafraid of either; they also travel in a world which is black and white and has little use for gray. The curiosity of Scorpios is immeasurable, which may be why they are such adept investigators. These folks love to probe and know how to get to the bottom of things. The fact that they have a keen sense of intuition certainly helps.
It's the Scorpion which symbolizes Scorpios, and it's no accident. Much like the Scorpion would rather kill itself than be killed, those born under this Sign are the ones who are in ultimate control of their destiny. It is life on the Scorpion's terms, too, since these folks promote their agenda (they are quite the executives) and see to it that things go forward. Others may find this overbearing (it can be) and even self-destructive, but that's the beauty of the Scorpion: these folks have tremendous regenerative powers, much like the literal Scorpion can lose its tail and promptly grow a new one. Fearless Scorpions rarely lose, per se, they just keep on going, since they are stubborn and determined to succeed (this Scorpio trait is in keeping with the Fixed Quality assigned to this Sign). Scorpios work as hard as they do so they can someday sit back and feel satisfied with themselves. These folks are intense, passionate and filled with desire. They're also complex and secretive, so don't expect to get much out of them, lest they become suspicious and exit stage left. It's best not to bet against Scorpios, either, since these folks are surprisingly resourceful.

Scorpio is ruled by the Planets Mars and Pluto. Mars was the God of War in ancient Roman mythology and is the first (and most ancient) ruler of Scorpio. When Pluto was discovered in the 20th century, it was also assigned to this Sign. Pluto was known as the God of the Underworld in ancient Roman times, so when coupled with Mars, expect some intense energy to head toward Scorpions here on Earth. This planetary combo makes for people who are motivated, penetrating and aware. Scorpions don't miss much, since they are highly attuned to the vibrations of others. They are intuitive, probing and very focused on knowing who's who and what's what. Scorpions can lose their temper (and even become vengeful) when someone gets in their way, so it's best to give them plenty of room. Remember, they're unafraid, and a loss today simply means an opportunity for victory tomorrow.
The Element associated with Scorpio is Water. As opposed to the 'roiling seas' seen in other Water Signs, a better motto for Scorpions would be 'still waters run deep.' Those born under this Sign are as emotional as their waterborne brethren, it's just that they're not as likely to show it. The Scorpio's emotions are repressed, kept under cover. Again, secrets to be used another day. That said, be aware that these folks are clever, perceptive and always in the mix. Their ability to see into things can sometimes be a curse for Scorpions, however, since they can take an insignificant matter and turn it into a huge slight. Beware the Scorpion who feels crossed! These folks can turn vindictive in no time flat. Luckily, once Scorpions catch their breath, they will return to their usual determined and loyal (albeit strong-willed) ways. Finally, while Scorpions aren't above some subtle manipulation to get what they want, they'd much rather take a scientific, even mystical path. The Scorpio-born are powerful and passionate, qualities which serve them well, as long as they don't let them deteriorate into self-indulgence or compulsion.

Scorpios love competition in both work and play, which is why they'll air it out in sports and games. Extreme sports are right up the Scorpion's alley, as is most anything which will test their mettle. They've got to have an adversary, since it makes the game that much more fun. The Scorpion's colors? Powerful red and serious black. When it comes to love, though, Scorpions soften up a bit and are caring and devoted with their lovers, even if they do hold on a bit tight. Scorpions are also lusty in the extreme (how else?), so they need to be mindful of their reproductive organs.
The great strength of the Scorpio-born is in their determination, passion and motivation. Scorpions don't know the word quit, which is why they usually get the job done. A powerhouse? Like no other

Compatible Zodiac Signs for Scorpio
Capricorn
Pisces
Cancer
Virgo

Incompatible Zodiac Signs for Scorpio
Sagittarius
Aquarius
Aries
Gemini
Leo
Libra

Variable Zodiac Signs for Scoria
Scorpio
Taurus

On radio today morning...

2005-10-21T08:22:00.000-04:00

As I was getting ready today morning I was listening to this radio show" valentine in the morning" on Hot 101.9 FM..It usually plays some new hit peppy songs in the morning with some good natured fun going on between the presenters of the show :)... But today a girl Jaime( I think that was her name ) calls up and tells these guys on the show that she has been dating some guy for 6 months and he has asked her to move in with him..But she has a feeling that he is hiding something from her and she wants to check on him..
so Valentine pretends to be this guy calling from a Florist shop and tells this girls boyfriend(BF from now on..too lazy to type ..:D) that they are doing a promotion and his name got picked off some database and now he can send free 2 dozen red roses any person of his choice..and this dude names some other girl and asks them to send the flowers there...The girl Jaime was listening to this conversation all along.... and the minute the dude says the name and address of this other girl..Valentine steps in and says that he is on a radio show and that he has been busted and all..
The girl as u can imagine was very upset and she yelled at this guy for being unfaithful and this guy actually has the audacity to say that u have guys working with u and u are close to this Gay friend of yours..( which makes no sense to me why this guys should be jealous of a gay guy ...)...
The guy then hangs up the phone ..and this girl is crying on the phone...It seems to me like as much as she wanted to check on this guy she could not accept the fact that this guy was cheating on her..( even though in all fairness I think a guy sending some girl flowers do not qualify as absolute proof of cheating..still I think the girl needs to talk to his guy before making any major decisions...just my opinion)
After listening to this show..I started thinking about the concept of "washing your dirty linen in public"...I feel that the girl should have confronted the guy directly instead of comming on to a radio show ..for that matter there are lot of television"reality shows" that do this kind of thing too....I wonder wat motivates people to open their lives for everyone to see and comment on....
Also, once u have decided to check on your patner or someone..u need to be prepared for any consequences..becos there is a good probability that answer can be either one.....
so wat does the Junta here think about this...???
jeenu.

Don't quit

2005-10-19T11:37:00.000-04:00

My sister gave me this poster about 2 years back when things were not working out so great for me personally as well as professionally..i dont know who wrote this poem ..but whenever i have been down reading it has always made me look on the positive side of things..:)
so here's the poem
Don't quit
When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you are travelling seems all uphill,
when you are feeling low and the stress is high,
and you want to smile but you have to sigh,
when worries are getting you down a bit,
rest if you must but dont ever quit.

Success if failure turned inside out,
a silver lining in the clouds of doubt,
you never can tell how close you are-
it may be near when it seems so far,
so trust in you when you are hardest hit...
its when things go wrong that you must not quit..:)
-anonymous

iam just quoting this poem from my memory so i might have missed something or have rephrased a bit..but throughout the poem i see the beauty of not giving up on your dreams...
and working hard for it..

cheers
jeenu

Of crying collegues...

2005-10-17T16:23:00.000-04:00

I usually have no reason to like monday mornings..for one it means that i have to wait 5 more days for the weekend..which actually for me means only 6-8 hours of lab work that day and may be a couple of delicious hours in the morning to sleep.Hmmmmmmm.....that is perhaps the best part able to sleep in till 9 in the morning...well here i go digressing..so back to the topic..the other reason i hate mondays is becos of the Group meetings that are only for 2 hours but after it gets over i feel so tired and drained..mainly becos of the petty politics in the lab..:(
it was not always like this in our group but these days everyone seems to get on everyones nerves and my collegues all seem like a 5 year petulant kids who want everything their way...
so i got a new sonicator and some nice lab toys for myself after 3 years of struggling on things that are hopelessly beyond redemption..i decided that is it ..marched myself in to my budda's office ( My Boss :D ) and told him i need to buy pipette sets and a new sonicator..if u think i got in trouble with my budda u guys were wrong..he did not even say a peep he just nodded and said order them....:)
I did and all my new toys came in ..i was so happy and that is when it started...my lab is a good international mix.. we have a dilligent , smart desi..that is me..a chinki collegue, a french post doc, a kiwi, a jamaican and not to mention my budda is an australian....and some american collegues and most of the graduate students are girls and their lies the problem... my american collegue C is an year senior to me and she is like this spoiled brat who has to have watever she wants...
well she wanted to use my sonicator ...just for the heck of it and for no particular reason...but i ordered it for a specfic purpose and someone else using it might contaminate it....she literally threw a hissy fit...all this happened last week..
today i was supposed to present in the group meeting and after my presentations ppl were allowed to ask questions and she was really making some irritating remarks saying this assumption of mine is faulty and presentation was long..and blah..blah...blah...
so my budda finally asked her wat her problem was and then she burst in to tears right there in the group meeting and said that she needs the sonicator to dissolve her compound and that iam not allowing her to do so....
my boss looked at me and i told him iam using it for a specific thing and the reason i said she cant use it is becos watever i have in their might kill her stuff..well she was crying and so my boss was like let her use it...
i felt so mad....may be i need to throw a hissy fit to get things done too and may be cry...:(
but i can never do that in front of others.. may be its about time i learnt that too becos this collegue of mine seems to get watever she wants this way...
it is so depressing...:(
jeenu

Garba sans saree experience ..:)

2005-10-15T09:03:00.001-04:00

As the title suggests i decided to go in a nice sime salwar suit becos i wanted to dance a lot..being from south india the only garbas i have been are here in US...:) this is probably the 4th garba iam attending and for the last three i have never even considered the option of wearing a saree...even though i would love to flaunt it..(Aria i do that all the time in front of my mirror:D..my roomie says that iam still not out of that kintergarden phase..)..N was the one who started this idea and finally N and S dressed up in saree ..they looked very pretty too :)
But the actual garba was a real bummer..becos we were all so engrossed in getting dressed..we were very late and we missed the Garba raas..made it just in time for dandiya lessons..since i had been to 3 Garbas before this it was no problem for me to master it and actually N and S danced pretty well too without their saree falling apart..iam so gonna go in saree for next garba..anyways back to the anticlimatic evening the beat for dandiya was so slow that i almost fell asleep..at one point i expected the next dandiya song to be "waqt ne kiya kya haseen sitam.."..lol
but it was fun with N, S and ofcourse Mr.A was there :)
i danced a lot with uncles and aunties this time actually something that i have never done in the last three and it was fun..other than one uncle repeatedly hitting my fingers with the dandiya stick every single time i got to dance with him.....:D
but all in all i missed the fun i had in last 3 garbas where i would dance with abandon ..iam usually so tired and hungry at the end of it that we all go out eat something at like 1 am and then sleep for like 12 hours after that :)...the garba event got over at 11 with aarti and here also i was surprised when instead of " jai jagadish hare.." they started some other song..everyone was so quite during aarti as no one knew how to sing that song....
i dont know why i felt so cheated yesterday....hopefully next garba can recreate the magic of first garba for me ..
cheers
jeenu

Garba tonite :D

2005-10-14T14:28:00.000-04:00

i just cant wait for the last couple of hours of the work day to roll out so i can go to garba..i still have not decided whether i should wear a salwar ya saree...me and N spent all yesterday night getting ready for garba.:) she wanted to wear saree i cant just imagine playing dandiya in saree..always had this morbid fear of me stepping on my saree pleats and it comming undone ..:)
well 6 more hours to go before garba starts....:)
jeenu:)

Last weekend..:)

2005-10-13T09:48:00.000-04:00

i had a good surprise last weekend when D a good friend of mine just dropped in at 3 am saturday morning..:)
i was surprised as well as touched he drove all the way from rochester NY to Virginia non stop for 11 hours..all becos when i talked to him on wednesday i was pretty upset about things at work....i was touched and it turned out to be a great weekend.... we went to mandir on sunday and i attended my first durga pooja..it was a really nice experienceand going to mandir always calms me down and helps me to focus which is precisely what it did :)....he left early monday morning..
but the fact that he came to just cheer me up made me feel good ...i am just grateful to have such a good friend and i wish in future i can do the same for him :)
cheers
jeenu

Navaratri days :)

2005-10-10T19:29:00.000-04:00

Navaratri the word brings to my memory probably the best season of the year ..not only becos it is a usually the time of my quaterly holidays in school..becos after that i know diwali will be right around the corner and "karthigai" on which my birthday falls comes next...During navaratri my aunts and my cousins also come over to our place to be with us and that turns our quiet home in to some nice "chatram"( big halls ) as my thatha ( Grand pa) used to call it and not very fondly either becos he is always given the responsibility of taking care of the kids..there was me , my sister, cousins S and B from our first aunt and cousin V from the second aunt..myself, B and V were in same age group and were known to drive any sane person insane with out antics...During navaratri we three usually got dressed up in the evenings to go and see" gollu bommai" (display of mud dolls for the duration of navaratri) in everyones house in our area and to invite others to see our "gollu" in our house .Main purpose of these visits however is to get some delicious "sundals" ..we sometimes never even waited till we came home to eat sundals..we just finished it all on the way and by the end of navaratri season all there of us visited Dr. ranjit for aliments ranging from Stomach aches to food poisoining ..lolOne such memorable Gollu visit happened when i was in standard 7 th..cricket set was the new mud doll set introduced in the market and only Rani aunty's son had gone to city and gotten it..so we all went to her place to see the set and B was the most eager beaver among us three and when we went there B went straight to look at the set and aunty then went to get us some snacks... then B told me that the bowlers action is not right and decided to set it right...and he broke the doll...me ,V and B were so scared becos ppl consider it very inauspicious to break mud dolls especially one on display..so we did that one logical thing that kids do after breaking things..we all just ran away from that house..hehehehehe...on the way home we three decided to keep it quiet and no to tell anyone..but my mom could clearly see that something was wrong..so by the end of that night she knew wat was wrong and next day she made us go to rani auntys house next day and apologise..but aunty was very nice and she said that we were kids so it is ok...anyways after that incident the cricket set lost its charm and we tried to avoid rani auntys house as much as we can... :)
cheers
jeenu

PS one more to the soppy blog :D

E and me :)

2005-10-07T10:00:00.000-04:00

I woke up in the middle of night yesterday to the "Hungarian dance tune"( my cell phone ring tone) I was in my dream land and was pulled rudely from there ..."sigh"..It was E calling and I was not in a great mood to be woken up in the middle of the night..and I said "Hello"
then E said " Hello" we played the back and forth hello couple of more times and then I was at my wits end and as nicely as possible I asked him if that is all our conversation for night is gonna be ...becos like any sane person who has to get to work in the morning by 8 I need my 7 hours of beauty sleep... He then realized that he is three hours behind me and apologized and I felt bad for talking to him like that so I said it is ok( I always try to accommodate for E ) and we just started talking about the first time he called me in US ..That was also in the middle of night for me ...So on and so forth...Needless to say I did not come in to work at 8 today morning :)
Anyways E is the third guy in the group of eight ..and he is in Seattle ...I dont actually remember the first time I met E but he says that I came to his college during undergrad for some cultural festival and that he and another guy were our guide there ....I don't have a clue to that incident ever..
Anyways the time I met E in the masters was in our class room...After the college had started out for couple of days..We had that really boring quantum chemistry class and it usually was after lunch and the prof teaches the class using a projector so the windows were shut and no light...iam sure half the junta here can imagine the consequence of such sequence of events...most of us doze off...other then than weird few who actually seem to understand the class...E was sitting in the first row I think and suddenly in the middle of the class Prof M looks at him and asks E are u feeling sleepy and that guy actually says yes and the prof asked him if he wants to wash his face and come and E actually sat there thinking about it and after a min said ok and left the class and he came back 20 mins later just in time for the class to get over...I found that incident to be funny..
anyways E and V ( the guy) were great friends so whenever V used to come and talk to me ya visit me in the hostel E used to tag along...He was very shy person and was not that communicative at all...when V is around he can tolerate the company of gals but in absence of V he gets pretty uneasy...So he just runs away from there ..and I mean it literally...there were discussions in the hostel between the girls in our class as to what this guy will do if we all corner him in the third floor and A always said he probably will jump off from the building if he cant reach the stairs...
anyways that was how he was in first two semesters..and then one day V asked me to come to canteen with him for tea and along with V and E also tagged along....We started talking about movies and books and stuff and I was amazed at how much E knew all about it..He just could not stop talking and after 3 hours ..I knew that we will great friends......That was the day he started talking and I just could not get him to stop till now ...hehehehehehe...
I learnt about lot of things that have happened to him and the reason why he is so painful shy and such an introvert...more l learnt more I respected the guy....I could sometimes see in the way he talks all the emotional scars there...and how he tries to make the best of what he has....all in all he is a great friend of mine and I hope that his future will make up for all his losses in the past ....
cheers
jeenu

Jeenu's Friends-2

2005-10-06T11:38:00.000-04:00

Now that I have started off with V the guy..I think I should talk about V the girl :)
I still remember the night I met V and A...It was the night my parents have dropped me off in the hostel ( this is in Masters) and after the initial setting up of things..I had nothing to do and was feeling kinda of home sick that was probably the first night that I had spent outside the house without either of my parents...anyways there I was walking in to Mess hall for dinner and A looked up at me from her table and smiled..since I did not know anyone I walk up to A and sat there with my plate and she asked me if I was J ..I was so surprised ( also for an instant thought I was popular ..hehehehehe) that she knew my name but I found out later that she just looked up at the ppl who have joined chem and are going to stay in the hostel...So she kinda figured since I was in the old wing of the hostel at that time that I must be so and so......:))
As I was chitchatting with A we saw a girl run in to the mess hall and she looked pretty scared and to our amusement we saw her being chased by our mess cat with its family of kittens..It was so funny the way they kept chasing her from table to table and finally she landed up in ours..A vaguely knew V and she introduced us but I think V was trying her level best to avoid the cute kitties :))
I then became her" knight in shining armour" when I shooed away the cats..She still some times calls me that when ever we talk about her cat rescue...
the cats always chased V whenever she entered the mess hall and it had led to some hilarious moments for us over the time we stayed in our hostel.
that night A. V and me we talked about everything and anything under sun till 2 am in my hostel room and I think that was the trend through out our hostel stay :)
ofcourse we were later joined by N and four of us were inseparable since then.. even though we go to different schools all over the US we still are as close to each other as we were in hostel :)
V and N are gonna get married this feb iam hoping to go to India to visit them....
so here is to the awesome four of 211( that was how ppl called us in the hostel and the No is my room number in hostel )
cheers
jeenu :)

Jeenu's Friends

2005-10-04T11:23:00.000-04:00

Since yesterday night i have been thinking about my friends from india..i was looking through some of the old photos from "singhara chennai" ..:)
so decided to blog about some of my good buddies... we were a gang of 8 and the first one iam gonna blog abt is V
i have known V for almost 9 years now..we did our undergrad together in MCC and the first time i met him in the college i got a feeling that he is a" Rowdy" and i was also opinionated enough to voice that out to ppl in my class and eventually V to came know about it ..after that he always made sure he acted like one in front of me even now he kids me about it all the time:)...one thing that really caught my attention was his sense of humour..he can make any one laugh..even our Grumpy maths ma'am found him very funny and was always partial to him...
The first that we had a good arguement and probably the first time i talked to him for more than 5 mins :) was after a maths class where he got me in to trouble ..he as usual was making some really funny comments in the back rows and i unfortunately was sitting right before him..his sense of timing was so good i could not help but laugh at his antics in the back seat and our Ma'am saw me giggling away and in front of entire class chastened me for not paying attention and to my amazement pointed to V right behind me as said that i must pay more attention to class like him.. i was so mad that at the end of the class i just screamed bloody murder at him...probably the first time i has seen him speechless too...
he came and apologized next day but i was still mad and continued to ignore that dude..until we got in to the same college for our Masters program..i had to move in to hostel for that and i was pretty home sick most of the times..( sometimes just plainly sick from the hostel food :D )
i guess he was feeling that too and we just kinda become buddies.. he was the best friend that i could have asked for..there were times when i was very upset he always found a way to make me laugh...always there for me when i needed a friend...i still remember the times when i will be busy working late and night and dying of hunger and he will just come over to my lab with hot samosa's...or just the times i used to make fun of rajnikant becos it plainly irked him:)
the impromptu trips to besant nagar beach..."Sigh" pattani sundal on the beach....:)
V also got in to an university in the east coast and we are in constant touch with each other...he also came and visited me this may..and it was fun..with him as with couple of my old friends whenever we all talk or together it seems like we are in a time capsule ..not matter how long it has been we have not called each other..just a Hi seems to be enough to realise how close we are all together..:)
to my buddies
cheers
jeenu

Enlightened soul.....???

2005-10-03T10:08:00.000-04:00

N was in town for this weekend and as usual we all went to our favourite mexican place for lunch...and we were talking about religion , philosophy and spirituality..one of those days when u r in mood for the deep stuff and after the last week..i was in a very deep, dark mood..
we started talking about what is the significance of religion..the topic shifted to the fundamental principles of "sanadhana dharma" and what makes u a "Enlightened soul"...My roomie S feels that discipline and strict following of her religious scriptures will ultimately lead u to become a realised soul..or the least a spiritual person..
somehow i feel that religion is not all about discipline and scriptures..they are like guiding light and more "enlightened" a person is less will they be bound to the scriptures and more free will be their thoughts...and best way is to experience life and to understand it in all its vibrant colours, smell, taste and texture....
so wat do u guys out there think.....how would u define an enlightened soul???

Yesterday nite...

2005-09-16T12:08:00.000-04:00

It was one of the fun nights that i have had in a long time ...one of my friends S decided to surprise us all with a visit and she came to town for a day.
she called me at about 7 yesterday evening and asked me if i want to go out for dinner with her and N.
Never a one to say no to free food i said yes before she even completed the sentence :D
She came to my place at 9 PM and after the initial guppe shuppe( read Gossip on who is going out with who in town and who is getting hitched to who ...;) ) we three set out to have dinner ... on the way we realised that we have not actually decided on the place to eat....so then began an half hour discussion of where to eat i was not in for italian... S did not want mexican and N was like i only want some salad and juice ( she finally ate 2 burgers :P) finally we decided on Thai food and set out the decent Thai establishment in Town decent being a pretty subjective word here :)
By the time we started driving again it was almost 9.50 am and to our misfortune i actually could not remember the exact place of the restaurant and we went to all the nook and corner and by the time we reached there they had closed for the day :(
S was so hungry we could hear her tummy grumbling...so we went from there to italian , mexican and Desi restaurants in town ...everything was closed and finally we all settled for a burger in burger king ...lol...the entire situation looked so funny and inspite of out grumbling tummy we had a blast driving from this end of town to that end ...talking about all the fun things we all did together there :)
we had a great time and to top it all we started singing the song " girls just wanna have fun.." in burger king and guys there joined in the song..it was a blast...after burger king we all went to N's place and were talking before we all realised it was 7 am today morning and i just took shower and came to work...somehow i dont feel tired at all today :) just have this feeling of happy content ...everything seems to be so bright and alive for me today and all it took was some bad sense of direction and a out of key song sung with some great friends...:)
oh here comes my Boss gtg
cheers
jeenu

Hello

2005-09-15T11:18:00.000-04:00

hi
decided to post my blogs here :)
seems like sulls is gonna be down for long ...:(
jeenu